Doing ok

Hi friends,

We are doing well here. I think the healing process is going be like a roller coaster, much like the pregnancy was, but also different. We have mostly been resting and hanging with out the girls - the best medicine in the world. I am functioning much like normal, except still healing from the c-section. I find I ask myself a lot, "Why am I ok?? I just lost my sweet baby. I should not be ok!!" While pregnant, I imagined myself not leaving the house for at least a month. To not really want to talk to anyone for a while. Goes to show that you can't plan grief. I guess it will come in waves and hit me when I'm least expecting it?

But then I also remember that "The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." Psalm 34:18. He was not surprised by the number of days Hallie lived. He gave us 4 days, 13 hours and 45 minutes to hold her and soak her in. He was faithful in giving us time we so badly wanted. Why should I be surprised that He hasn't left me now?

The thing I want you to know is that I want to talk about Hallie. I always will. I find myself going through pictures over and over, so that I don't forget a thing about her. She had perfect soft skin and baby smell, a perfect round head, little fuzzy hair like Farrah did as an infant, a cow-lick like Chris, made those cute baby sounds, squeaks and cries, loved for me to rub her head. I sang to her and spoke to her. We realized a couple of days into her being here that she may not have been able to hear. But she knew me, there is no doubt. She calmed down to my touch. She knew her mama.

Right now, the only thing I fear is forgetting all the little things about her. It all happened so fast and with pain medicine from the c-section, and little-to-no sleep, it all feels like a blur in some ways. Like a dream. So, please, do not be afraid to talk about Hallie to Chris or I. She will always be that missing part of our family, and when I talk about her, it helps me remember.

BEAUTIFUL PICTURES of Hallie's arrival!

I can't believe that I haven't posted a link to this yet. I spoke about it, and it was on the "Hope for Hallie" Facebook page, but you have got to see these beautiful pictures that Christy Martin took of our sweet first moments with Hallie. Just click here.

Priceless.

Thank you for ministering to us, Christy.

We continue to be so thankful for all the support and comments. To know that Hallie had so much influence in her 5 days makes us so proud to be her parents. We miss her so much and look forward to figuring out ways to carry on her legacy. Thank you all for the prayers and support.

Hallie Lynn Green - my beautiful daughter

Thank you so much for praying for us, loving us, feeding us and overwhelming us with support.

We want to let you know that Hallie went to be with Jesus this morning at 12:30am. She was peaceful and in my arms just as I had wanted. Our family was here and we are thankful for so many circumstances like that one that made this journey as good as it could be. We are heartbroken but so thankful for Hallie and every second we got with her. She knew nothing but love!!

Chris, the girls and I will be laying low for the next few days ahead as we rest, remember Hallie together and celebrate Christmas with changed hearts.

Thank you, God, for allowing me to be Hallie's mother. Although losing you, Hallie, is the hardest thing I've ever done, I would carry you and love you all over again in a heartbeat. I feel like the luckiest mom in the world. I love you.

Day Five: Hallie Lynn Green

(This is Chris. Katie will resume writing soon.)

I can't write a word until I thank all of you who have sent gifts to our house, texted, wrote on the Hope For Hallie Facebook wall, brought meals, and most importantly... prayed for our family and Hallie.

I've got to be honest, when I first saw the signs and hashtags labeled "Hope for Hallie," I was a little nervous. I guess I wanted to make sure people knew what to hope for. The prayers for a miracle of full recovery in Hallie's health have been a braver prayer than I honestly was willing to pray. Probably out of the fear that God might not "fix" her. I also didn't want to assume that Hallie's health was the indicator of God's goodness to us. We've seen God's goodness in so many ways, and greatly through each of you. The bottom line is this: please don't hinge your willingness to believe in God on Hallie's survival.

The reality is, she won't.

I want to follow that horrible sentence with this. Hallie's survival was never our "Hope for Hallie." We knew the day we heard the words "Trisomy 13," Hallie's life would be short, and maybe just hours/days if she survived birth. Our "Hope for Hallie" is that people would see life as a gift, and draw near to God. Based on your comments here, and based on the Facebook wall, I would say: mission accomplished. More people know Hallie's name within the last five days than will know my name throughout my entire life. Please don't feel sorry for Hallie...or us.

We will continue to enjoy every moment we are given with Hallie. We're heartbroken. Extremely heartbroken. We cry...probably hourly. God's purpose for Hallie does not exempt us from the pain of losing her. Don't be misled into thinking we're all laughing and celebrating all of the time.

Hallie is perfectly-made for us. She has a cleft lip and palette, no eyes, and we're pretty sure she's deaf. But she's still perfect to us. Her soul shines through her.

Finally, I'll leave you with a shot taken last night shortly after we arrived home from the hospital. One of our "Hope for Hallie" participants (and later found out, a close family friend) went to Bass Pro Shop to do some family photos with Santa. She was holding a "Hope for Hallie" sign in the photo. Santa asked about it, and was moved by our story. He wanted to help bring some Christmas cheer to our family. And...at 9pm last night, after working a strenuous, all-day schedule, he drove the 30 miles south to our home to make us smile.

This single act of selflessness and love has got to be a top-three moment for me in my life. I would compare it to the "Move that Bus!" Extreme Home Makeover emotion. Incredible. He came with two elves (thanks Kristin and Lauren), and brought gifts for our girls and us, prayed for our family, and then lead us all in "Silent Night." I'll have a video of the girls' reaction up...well...soon. Santa, thank you for honoring our family in such a sacrificial way. (I see God's love all over this.)

Here is Santa loving on Hallie, our Christmas miracle:


Finally, I wanted to show you something all of our family has been able to experience. The trademark of Hallie, and the representation of her message to us. I probably have this same picture with six-eight different people:



Thank you for loving our special daughter.

Day Three: Hallie Lynn Green

First, let me say that the Hope for Hallie page is murdering us (in a great way). We can't believe how many people are praying for Hallie (and us). We cannot believe the love we're getting from people we know, and the hundreds/thousands that we do not. Thank you.

None of these moments were promised to us, and our hope for Hallie is that we would get to meet her. Mission accomplished. Big time. We are spending some of the sweetest moments with Hallie...all with our family here, too. We didn't plan on the social media community becoming family, too. But you guys are blowing us away with the photos, comments, texts, and notes.

We're treasuring each day we have with her.

Here are a few moments that captured her third birth day:





And here is a quick, peaceful (minus Farrah in the background) few moments of Hallie's life:

Day Two: Hallie Lynn Green

Hey lovers of Hallie:
Holy moly, being a dad is amazing. We have connected with Hallie in a way we never thought we could. Enjoying every second with her. Here are a few pictures I've taken over the last two days. You deserve being an insider. Thanks for all the love. We cannot thank you enough.

Update!

Hi!  This is Chelsie, Katie's sister, here to update the blog.  It's kind of a lot of pressure!  Sorry for those who have been tirelessly refreshing the blog page for updates- thankful we have the Hope for Hallie facebook page!

As most of you may know, Hallie Lynn Green is here!!  She was born this morning at 10:45am, 4 lbs, 15oz and 18.75 inches long. This makes her exactly 25 months younger than her big sister Farrah Kate!  The nurses at the hospital saved the room next to Katie and Chris's for the entire family to hang out and wait.  We didn't have to wait long before we got a picture text from Chris and a nurse came by with some sweet pictures of the new Hallie!  Chris came and got Bella and Farrah and the new Green family had some private time as a new family of 5.  Christy Martin who is with "Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep", so graciously came by to snap pictures of the occasion, so Chris could step out from behind the camera.  Once the 'Little Green Family' had their private time, the rest of us got to come in and see her.

We knew she would have a cleft palate and lip.  We then learned her heartbeat, vitals and breathing looked pretty good.  Hallie still has a very long road ahead of her but we are all excited and prayerful.  The outpowering of support and prayers has been overwhelming- for Chris and Katie but also for the rest of us.  We are all just trying to soak in time with her and each other.  Thank you from all of us and we will continue to try to keep people updated.

Katie and Chris- you guys amaze me with each and every step.  I know there is a lot you have to learn and a lot you don't quite understand, but you're doing it together and faithfully.  I love you.

From Chris' Perspective (get comfy; it's a little longer)

It’s the night before we finally begin the process of meeting Hallie. I can’t believe we’re already here. I’ve been sitting rather quietly for the last six months regarding Hallie, especially in social media. I tend to speak confidently about the things I (at least think I) fully understand. This has not been one of those things...until now.

I’ve felt a responsibility to be careful about my public thoughts on the pregnancy. I don’t want to mislead people about what it’s really like. Most of us can’t process something like this when asked. We need time, maybe a lot of it. I, nor Katie, are attempting to be awesome, amazing, or even full of faith. Those words have definitely been an encouragement as we look at each other and ask: “we are?”

Let me explain.

When we found out about Hallie having Trisomy 13, I’d never been so knocked off-kilter. I am ashamed to say (in full disclosure), I found myself considering the humane (for us) option doctors seemed to push often: terminating the pregnancy. Although that was a very short-lived emotion, my immediate, horribly weak response in desperation was to control the outcome of the pregnancy, even if it meant: abortion. [For the record, Katie never wavered once. She’s the amazing one!]

Let me explain further while I digress for a moment.

I watched a documentary earlier this year called “Anvil: The Story of Anvil.” It’s a rockumentary about an 80’s hair-metal-band that almost made fame, but just missed. The story was sad, because it displayed these men’s childlike bliss still chasing a dream that will clearly never happen.

(Now on to the point…) For whatever reason, after finishing the movie, I felt an overwhelming sadness come over me. I went back to the bedroom, woke Katie up, and cried my eyes out as I told her that I thought we were about to have a season of sorrow. The feeling was so palpable; I could taste its truth.

I don’t claim to be a prophet. I don’t tend to lean heavily on strong emotions. However, I cried like a baby. That never happens, and I knew something was coming.

I didn’t tell anyone (but Katie) because…well…I didn't want people to think I’m crazy. Try this on for crazy: I watched the documentary on June 14, and we found out about the problem with Hallie on June 23. Remarkable.

I was certain that God was preparing us ahead of time for a bomb. It’s as if he was saying: “Chris, it’s going to get ugly for a while, and I need you to know something: I know what I’m doing, and you can trust Me.”

Now…let’s go back to the diagnosis moment before I digressed…

I forgot about this whole prophetic experience when we found out about the diagnosis. It was just a week prior! My mind didn’t go to what I was certain that God had told me. It went to how I will control the outcome of the pregnancy, and how I can create security where there seems to be none. How faithful am I now?

I mean…there are some serious feelings at play here.

At first, at that early stage of pregnancy, I was worried about having a special needs baby for which to care for my entire life. I was worried about the intense emotional destruction of possibly losing a baby. I was worried about the expenses of care and constant testing. I was worried about her actually living, not dying. How faithful is that?!?

June 23, 2011, was my faith crossroads. And…after most of the emotion subsided, and we found out the final diagnosis on June 27, I began to reassemble my faith in a God who knew exactly where we’d been, where we were, and where He was taking us.

The aching emotion that both Katie and I felt for a long time is this: Katie is going to carry a baby for nine (actually ten) months, pregnancy pains, varicose veins, constant discomfort, gaining weight, maternity clothes, wearing the same jeans every day, swollen everything, and gracefully smiling at those who squeal “congratulations” when they see her bulbous belly…after going through all of that…we would have absolutely nothing to show for it.

But if there's one thing I've learned this year, we already have plenty to show for it.

Katie and I are as solid as ever. Our marriage has matured greatly. For those who think the bond of marriage has anything to do with happiness, it doesn’t. There were many nights driving home from work that I dreaded having to see Katie cry yet another night. These last six months have not been “happy.” But just as truth is sometimes bitter to the taste, we’ve found a new normal…much greater than the cheap and often-temporary emotion of happiness. We have discovered a level of joy and gratitude that has reconstituted our marriage, our family, and us.

We’ve seen our family, friends, and church surround us in prayer, offer service, and provide gifts. We’re beginning to understand what “loving others” really means. We’ve never needed it, and until you do, it’s a mystery. We’re not kids anymore, and life has become a richer gift.

This experience has also provided me with a new perspective on my relationship with my children, Bella and Farrah. You might think that losing a child would cause you to hold your other children a little tighter. But honestly, I think that creates an anxiety that God does not wish for us. Hallie has taught us to let go of our wishes for our children, so that God may be glorified through them. (I can’t believe God has brought me to a place where I can say this. And, it will be a constant struggle for the rest of my life.)

We are now hours away from the pleasure of seeing our third-born daughter, Hallie. And as every parent clings to the hope that their child will accomplish great things in life, I have no doubt that Hallie has already exceeded my wildest expectations.

I hope you choose to see God in your circumstances. He’s there, and I’m thankful that He trusted us with Hallie. I only hope we’ve been a good steward of our time with her, and your time watching her little life develop.

We appreciate your prayers as we begin Phase Two of our journey: the birth.

(Katie, good LORD, you are amazing. I respect, honor, admire, and adore you more and more every day. Thank you for giving me perfect children, and for selflessly bearing the burden of being pregnant for three years of your life. I hope I can be as faithful to you, as you’ve always been to me. I love you.)

-Chris

Update & Some Pictures

Hello friends!
So I had a Dr. Appt today... and we are set for a Monday am induction! They think Hallie has turned back to head down, but will check again before being induced. I'll go in Sunday night to settle in and be induced early the next morning.

My mom reminded me that Sunday night is the Survivor finale! Sounds silly, but that is one of a few shows Chris and I watch, and we rarely get to watch live. So we'll just try and relax at the hospital and watch :) Bella was born during Survivor (our family was out watching in the waiting room!) And we thought Farrah would be, too, but she came much earlier in the day than we all thought she would.

I have so many things I could write - but I don't think I could cover it all adequately. (Plus I'm in a nesting mood, and I surely need to go clean a baseboard or organize under the sink.) Thank you for all the prayers, messages, calls, cards once again. I have felt such a peace this week. Much much better than last week even. I know it's because we have so many people carrying the burden with us and praying for us!

We have great friends, far and near praying. We were covered in prayer yesterday by Chris' co-workers and our friends at church. The women I've met going through this have been such a blessing. And I know we have people visiting this blog from all over. Who knew when I was trying to decide to even share this news on the blog that it would have been such a great outlet for me.

We really are doing well this weekend. We love the continued prayers for us - but specifically for Hallie and for what her life means. I have enjoyed sharing our progress with you and we certainly hope to have many more things to share after she is here. (After we soak up every moment with her!) I may have family/friends update so you can know how to pray for us. :)

I think that is all for now... enjoy some fall photos of the girls... from back when there were leaves on the trees! Then... a few more from this week after my brother graduated.









Congrats, Ryan!!

Santa

The girls' weekday director has so much pull with Santa, he came to visit us at church!

Farrah loves to talk about Santa, but was NOT so sure about him. Bella told him she needed a new cash register, because the one he gave her last year broke.








We are still here, hanging. Very ready for Monday to get here. The waiting is just terrible, honestly. Six months of wondering what is to come, and we're finally at the end of this pregnancy and the beginning of Hallie! We just love her and are ready for her to be in our arms so we can tell her how many people care for her and how proud of her we are.

Pregnancy Update - 38 weeks

Baby is the size of: At the ultrasound today... she's measuring 4 1/2 lbs. We know this can be off a bit, but it's about what we are expecting.

Symptoms: I've been having some contractions every once in a while this week. They are small, but I can feel them. This made me get on the ball and start at least getting things organized to pack - just in case she decides to come early! We had a "stress test" to monitor heart rate/contractions today and I could see & feel some small contractions.
Oh, and my big toe was asleep for a week. Strange!! Dr said it goes along with the feet swelling.

Maternity clothes? oh yeah.

Sleep: Sleeping ok. I wake up on my back a lot and it doesn't feel great to have all the pressure sitting on me. But the process of turning on my side is not fun, either.

Fun moment(s) this past week: Hmmmm... a few things. We moved Farrah to a big girl bed. I kinda can't believe we did it this close to Hallie coming, but we did the same with Bella before Farrah was born. And it's surprisingly gone really well. All of her naps and nights have gone great except one, and it wasn't too bad. I think she loves being in a bed like her sister!!! My parents made both beds. Here is Bella's. And here is a phone pic of Farrah's:

Those pictures just made me realize we need to go back to pink in their room!! Chris... we have anything going on this week? :)

Tonight I had dinner with 4 other Trisomy mom's and it was just wonderful! It it just so great to meet other women who just "get it" and to see how each of their babies have affected those around them. They are just all wonderful women, all in different stages, and wow! Each of their stories are touching and a light for others!

Movement: Um, still a lot. In fact, we learned at the ultrasound today that she is BREECH again! So we will wait and see how she is positioned this Friday at my last OB appt, and can have her turned (ow!) Monday before being induced, too. I am hoping she turns on her own. She has plenty of fluid and is small so either way should be fine.

Gender & Name: Hallie Lynn (Lynn is Chris' mom, my sister and my aunts middle name!) About time we decided, huh? :) We think it goes well with Bella Reese and Farrah Kate.

What I am looking forward to: Meeting Hallie!! I seriously cannot believe I only have a week left. I am sort of a crazy wreck in some ways, but calm in others. I've been nesting like crazy today. I even cleaned out the car. What?!?

Reflections on the past week: Wow, I've been all over the place. But I've mostly been ok. I had some contractions early Sunday morning around 5am and my mind was spinning... "should I be up packing right now because I have nothing packed?!?!" Then I fell asleep and they stopped. I've been feeling big and over being pregnant. I've been sad, anxious and nervous. I have had such a good time with my kids - they are a true joy and make me so thankful. Chris and I have had lots of talks this week, as this is becoming more real to him, too. So this last week has been more of the same - a roller coaster, but maybe with a few more hills. I expect this is how the next several months will be. But I truly feel ready to meet my little angel.

Prayer requests: Wow. I just don't know where to start. So far, all of our prayers have been answered. Thank you so much. Just look at this prayer we asked you to pray for us back in June:

God, give us more hours of joy than pain. Allow us to turn the corner of sorrow, to celebration. Cause us to see her as a gift. And allow us to cherish every moment she’s with us. Change our hearts.


I mean, I never would have guessed that our prayers would be so overly answered by God. But He knew. We are so so thankful that He is a God of compassion and love. He's bigger than all of this. I still don't know that I'll ever understand, but I don't feel alone in my sadness. And when the harder times that are still to come get here... I'm confident He'll get us through it. Thank you for praying for these last 6 months!!


One thing I have not yet mentioned, we do have a wonderful photographer Christy Martin, who is also with the organization "Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep" We are so thankful to know Christy and to know that this resource is out there for parents like us! If you are a parent that goes through something like this, NILMDTS is wonderful!! Thank you, Christy!!


Again, thank you all for the prayers, thoughts, messages, cards, meals, watching our kiddos... we are forever grateful. We will keep you updated this week! 

Big Ham & Puffy vests

Tonight I am thinking I should start packing bags or at least getting things organized in case Hallie decides to come early. I am so a last minute person, but I have been a little worried that I'm going to be caught off guard and need to get to the hospital fast! So I should probably pack some! Besides that, I'm going to try and relax as much as possible this week. Last ultrasound tomorrow, my brother is graduating with an MBA (go Ryan!!!), getting a few Christmas presents (can you say online shopping?) and the girls Christmas program. That's about the extent of my week I am hoping.

I'm trying to get a few posts out that may never make it out if I don't now...

Here are a couple of Farrah being a ham for the camera.


The "silent scream" started out as a joke to get the girls to stop squealing... but now, it's preferred! I highly recommend it!


And Chris loves to "cat" things... ha!!!


These were taken back in November at my friend Kristy's. Farrah walked around with a tortilla in her mouth for quite a while. She cracks me up! And I love the puffy vests!!

Thanksgiving!

We did a Thanksgiving lunch at the Green's and dinner at the McIver's. Bunch of yummy food and family visiting!
Chris put together a video of our time at the Green's!



Here are a couple of good shots, too!

Belly Pics

I haven't been great at getting belly pictures this time around. It seemed like such a big task to do every week like we did with Bella, although I love that we did those! And I didn't do them with Farrah, but we did monthly pictures of her with the teddy bear in the chair and I love those too!!

And with maternity shots... we had some done with Bella. Angela Morris did an awesome job. I don't think we had any official maternity photos done with Farrah?

Chris had his photography gear out Tuesday and took some photos of me & Hallie after I returned home from a Christmas party. (Usually I'm in PJ's by 4pm!) We were even able to capture the B&W photo, similar to the one we had with Bella. I'm glad we took some!

Pregnancy Update - 37 weeks (Full Term!)

We are here - Full Term - wow.


Baby is the size of: She's probably still under 5 lbs, but she doesn't feel like it! :) 

Symptoms: Feet and hands are a bit swollen. Not as bad since it's not really hot out, but when I finally get around to shaving my legs (ha!) I can tell my feet are swollen. And I haven't been wearing my rings for a few weeks because I was scared they'd get stuck.

Maternity clothes? Kristy had given me a couple of boxes a while back, and I never went through one of them. I remembered and it was like Christmas morning! A couple more shirts to add to the wardrobe for a few weeks. :) 

Sleep: Sleeping well. 

Fun moment(s) this past week: The girls spent the night at GG's this weekend and Chris and I celebrated/relaxed for his b'day. At Spa Sydell, I got a facial (thanks again, friends!!) while I got Chris a  massage for his birthday. We then Christmas shopped a bit and then hung out with friends in Athens to watch the game. UGA was doing so well... I literally laid in a recliner the whole game (even snoozed in the 4Q). We were probably lame guests, but it was so nice to just sit and relax! :)

Movement: Still lots. Her feet are on my right side and I feel her heels quite often. She must be using my bladder as a punching bag. I'll take it!

Food cravings: Anything I don't have to fix. haha! I'm tired of my own cooking. In a rut still with meals. 

Gender & Name: Hallie. I'd like to decide on a middle name this week so we can monogram stuff. 

What I am looking forward to: Hmmmm... not sure. I am honestly ready for Dec 19 to get here (as ready as I'll ever be). But not ready for her to come early, so stay put, sweet Hallie! I am ready for the torturous waiting to be over. I don't necessarily want to rush through the next two weeks, but yeah... I'm ready. 

Reflections on the past week: This is always the last category I fill out. Because where do I even start? The last 2 days have been good. Tonight, our most recent small group came over to love on us - brought meals and prayed over us. We felt so loved! I love my church and small groups. Our small group (before the last) is also just awesome. I love that we have so many friends through these groups.

I am so thankful for all of the prayers from everyone - just the nice thoughts, emails, hugs. I've said it before, but it's overwhelming; in a good way! I am just amazed at the generosity of friends, co-workers, family, etc - past and present. Thank you!! I am sorry if I am (really) slow to respond to emails. I promise I read them all, and I'm keeping all my cards. 

Last week as a whole - I was honestly just blah - sad, anxious. Thankfully just at night and I've (mostly) been able to hold it together during the day and let it out at night :) I cried for the first time through my doctor's appointment. I was trying so hard to hold it together, but couldn't. It's not something I really shared with anyone, because I actually have forgotten until now. It is just happening more now. I'm trying to remind myself that it's OK. I'm just not a public crier! But there is nowhere for the emotion to go but out now! We are two weeks away from meeting our daughter. Emotions are high and I'm wearing them on my sleeve.

I know yall think I'm strong, but I'm not. Promise you that. I think when you go through something like this, you realize you still have to function. You are still needed by others. And in all the sadness & sorrow, you realize you need more than to rely on yourself. There is nothing that can make this all better; no one who can fix this in the way we'd like to here in this world. 

But I know a few things. 

1) Christ's strength is made perfect in my weakness.

2) Hallie is perfect, made perfectly in His image. I'm proud of her. I love her.

3) If we get 5 minutes or 50 years with Hallie, God will still get the glory for her life. 

4) I won't regret a minute of this. Ever.

I hope yall know I share all of this to hopefully help people going through similar things, and just as a witness to God's goodness in the midst of suffering. I don't share everything (mostly because it's hard and you'd probably worry about my sanity), but I also love sharing as much as I can about Hallie and how her life has affected me. She has changed us! 

Prayer requests:

Little "Quinn-Bean" passed away Friday. Continue to pray for Meghan and Steve. This is my fourth friend with whom I've walked this path (whether online or in person), and the fourth little angel that passed. It is so sad, but yet they each have been such a light to me... knowing they were thankful for moments they got with their little girls, or just knowing God was with them when they chose to carry these precious gifts. Meghan and Steve were given 5 days with Quinn, and she said they are so thankful. Is that not a God thing? You know, that we can be so torn up inside going through this, then truly thankful for the moments we are given. I am thankful for Meghan, Miranda, Kalee, Devany and Kara, and watching each of them. 

And thanks for praying for us. We pray Hallie stays put for the Dec 19 date, because that's what I am ready for in my head- not earlier. Because you know I won't pack before Dec 17-18. ha. And we pray for our families, as we know they are double-affected by Hallie -- worried about her and worried about us.

Here is the video from church where we were able to share a bit about our story. 

http://buckheadchurch.org/messages/story-of-us

Pregnancy Update - 36 weeks (9 months!)

Baby is the size of: Had an ultrasound today! Hallie is measuring around 32 weeks - about 4 lbs 5 oz. So she hasn't gained much (7 oz) in two weeks... but she is still growing.

Symptoms: Carrying a bowling ball around. Bending with it, carrying kids with it, and trying to sleep with it is quite funny and uncomfortable. :)

Maternity clothes? Can't I just wear PJs the rest of this pregnancy??

Sleep: Same. Love it, should go to bed earlier but that's the story of my life, and I sleep well once I'm asleep.

Fun moment(s) this past week: Thanksgiving was relaxed and fun. We were able to enjoy both sides of our awesome families. Thanksgiving made me think of my Grandmom and how I miss ol' Wewahitchka Thanksgiving days... but I made her fruit salad and it was so yummy.

Movement: She's still moving a good bit. Likes to work on her stretches. She's head down, feet kicking me in the right side (we feel heels often), and a little bum under my ribs. 

Food cravings: No huge cravings. Bella and I killed some fruit salad over thanksgiving, though.

Gender & Name: Hallie

Belly Button in or out? I think it's officially out. 

What I am looking forward to: Chris' birthday is this weekend. We don't have set plans yet, but I look forward to hanging with him. Probably includes watching the UGA game somewhere. (Have I mentioned that we don't have cable since we moved back in March?!? It has been great until football season!!)

I'm also meeting the OB Friday that will deliver me on the 19th. I'll get 2 appts in with her before the 19th, so that is good.

Reflections on the past week: This roller coaster is getting longer and more bumpy. I am thankful for the good days/hours, for family, for my fun girls, my husband, and for the enormous help and prayers from friends. Your encouragement (coming in various forms) does not go unnoticed and helps me so much. 

I have so many thoughts I would love to write. Maybe I will get to it one day. I had a few hard days this past week. Then Saturday night I read a couple more chapters in "I Will Carry You" and I feel like she is writing exactly how I feel. It was encouraging and a reminder that God is with me. And that although I would change this outcome in a milisecond and I plead with God to heal our daughter or give us time with her, God will still be glorified in all of this. Through Hallie.

I was also honored to share my story with our church (via a video - no public speaking for this girl!!) this past week. It was hard to talk and tell Hallie's story, and kinda funny to see my face up on a screen, but it was also freeing to talk about. If it goes up online, I'll post a link. :)

Prayer requests: 
First, you can pray for Meghan and Steve. They had their daughter Quinn today (also having Trisomy 13) and she made it through labor like a champ. She's in the NICU now and I pray they get so much time with her!!

Just prayers. I'm trying not to panic and let fear and anxiety of the unknown take over. I can feel it, almost rushing up my throat in the most random times. It is really hard not to focus on the future, and I know that I do better if I just focus on the here and now. One day at a time. But there is also so much to prepare for. Chris and I are going to try and be as "ready as we can" by the end of the week - nesting, cleaning, making packing lists, etc.

Now off to sleep....

Farrah's 2nd birthday

I am short on words tonight (blame it on the turkey if you want :)) ... but not short on pictures. Or short on love for this unbelievable child. She's awesome. So sweet. So stinking smart. Sensitive, caring, kissable and talkative. She makes my day at least 5 times a day.

We started with the birthday breakfast & pancakes!




She loves talking about fire trucks, trains, trucks. So we took her to a local fire station. She was shy at first, but before we left enjoyed climbing into them.





I'll end with some of my favorite phrases she says right now. Her voice is so sweet, I could freeze her in this age for sure.
I love you too, Mommy.
She loves to play with the I Spy books. When she finds something, she points at it and says "BOOM!" (taught to her by dad)
Thank you Mommy.
Bless you.
All better!!!!! (after getting a boo boo and it being kissed)
Yummy in my tummy!
Tootsies (cookies)
"God our Father" prayer
Oh Goodness!
Ohhhh Man!

Ok, there are really too many to mention. It's that sweet voice -- anything she says is just awesome. And the girl can talk!!! She knows her ABC's, can count to 12... then skip to 18, 19, 20. :), she knows her shapes and almost all the colors. She is proud that she can draw a circle. A favorite activity is pulling chairs around the house to get to what she wants to do (mostly "wash hands" and "do dishes"). Loves dance parties. Starting to ask for pig tails.

Ok, so I'm not that short on words. I love that little girl with the big personality!