Thank you ALL for the prayers, emails, texts, comments, etc. We feel so loved. We are thankful we're not alone in all of this.
One thing I have not yet shared here is that baby Green is a GIRL! Not quite the way we planned on finding out (we were going to be surprised at birth this time around!) but after getting the news, we wanted to know. We feel a little more close to her in that way now. We can pray for her even more personally. It was tough to know as well, because you know how much I love my little girls :)
The hard part (or A hard part) for me right now is the not knowing how long I will carry her ... the anxiety and questions can drive you nuts. I worry that as time goes on, the anxiety will get worse & not better. My stomach is starting to poke. I am sure soon I will start feeling her kicks. At that point, I will no doubt want to meet her - if only for a brief moment in time.
I have to remind myself: "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Matthew 6:34
So I also find that keeping myself busy is good. We loved getting away to the beach last weekend with my brother Ryan and sister-in-law Melissa and her mom and stepdad (Amanda and Doug). And we had a super filled weekend for the 4th of July. Thankful for that.
A crazy thing is that I have followed a FEW blogs in the last 3 years with moms (and dads) writing about this VERY thing - Trisomy 13 or 18. I have read as women go through this. I would weep. Why couldn't I just read blogs about decorating or organizing or something?? But I couldn't help feeling for them & wondering if I'd have the same strength. I've watched as others have gone through other heart breaking struggles. How did they get through this? I've always admired them, and been thankful for my healthy "uneventful" life. But it's never been a club I wished to join.
But I also know that in a strange way, seeing others go through this VERY thing has prepared me some - well, maybe not prepared... but given me a light at the end of the tunnel. Or a source to look back at. I know in my heart, it will be terrible - but we will get through it. But how do I also go through a trial being joyful? How will I possibly go through a whole pregnancy, knowing it won't have a "normal" outcome, and be joyful? That is something I want to learn all about. I'm not there yet. But I know MY God is not surprised by any of this. He already has this baby girl's days numbered as well as my own.
Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. – James 1:2-3
Here is our specific prayer right now, and we'd love for you to join with us:
God, give us more hours of joy than pain. Allow us to turn the corner of sorrow, to celebration. Cause us to see her as a gift. And allow us to cherish every moment she’s with us. Change our hearts.