Where to start? I've tried to write this a few times, but I like the way Chris wrote it to his team at work. So I tweaked it just a little...
As some of you may know, the week has been challenging. Last Thursday morning, I had an ultrasound which my sister and Chris were able to attend with me! Everything looked normal (to us) until the doctor came in later and told me that she was concerned about fluid/cyst on the back of the baby. I tried to collect myself and stay calm as I called Chris to come back to the hospital (they had left because we all thought things were fine and thought I just had my normal mtg with the doc afterwards).
We went to a specialist for an appt about an hour later (great that they get you in so fast with all these specialists!!) Basically we learned that our baby (14 weeks along) had some very serious markers for chromosomal abnormalities...like Down Syndrome or some others. Our baby's measurements were on the bad side of bad, and I went in for a procedure on Friday to do some more specific testing, with the results coming back on Monday sometime. After watching me go through this, Chris told me we were leaving in an hour to go to the beach...and we did. We headed down to Sandestin Friday afternoon, leaving the kids with his parents, and tried to keep our minds off of everything. That was a great move.
On our way home Monday afternoon, the doctor called to tell us our baby has Trisomy 13. This was devastating news, as Trisomy 13 is a somewhat rare diagnosis that means that if our baby makes it to childbirth, it will only live hours, days, weeks, or in rare cases...months. 1 in 10,000 live births are Trisomy 13. I can tell you on this side of things...the anxiety of not knowing is worse (or at least different) than knowing. Yesterday, we met with a genetic counselor (who knew they even existed?!?), and got even more information on things. It helped us prepare a lot. Where do we go from here? We just wait. We have a team of doctors watching our case closely, and making sure the baby and I are as comfortable as possible. The doctors have been incredible to us.
We have our fair share of tears, but I can honestly and confidently say...we're ok. A week in... and we're not GREAT and acting like nothing is the matter. But we know God has a plan to prosper our faith, no matter how tough this process is going to be on us. In a weird way, we're honored to experience this trial, as we know that we will grow deeper and stronger in our faith in God. It's also created an immense appreciation for our two little girls, Bella and Farrah. And each other.
We never really understood what the "roller coaster" of emotions was like...until now. We are learning that there is a lot we have never understood - and will have to go through during this life change. The multitude of things that "could" happen can absorb every thought. But, this moment in our lives is also a good reminder to look over and see the two beautiful girls we have, and know that our God is faithful, no matter what.
We are doing good, overall. But we would love to have your prayers. This is not something I would choose to go through (duh), but if we are going to go through it, we're giving it our all.
Whatever my lot, Thou has taught me to say,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.