Update!

Hi!  This is Chelsie, Katie's sister, here to update the blog.  It's kind of a lot of pressure!  Sorry for those who have been tirelessly refreshing the blog page for updates- thankful we have the Hope for Hallie facebook page!

As most of you may know, Hallie Lynn Green is here!!  She was born this morning at 10:45am, 4 lbs, 15oz and 18.75 inches long. This makes her exactly 25 months younger than her big sister Farrah Kate!  The nurses at the hospital saved the room next to Katie and Chris's for the entire family to hang out and wait.  We didn't have to wait long before we got a picture text from Chris and a nurse came by with some sweet pictures of the new Hallie!  Chris came and got Bella and Farrah and the new Green family had some private time as a new family of 5.  Christy Martin who is with "Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep", so graciously came by to snap pictures of the occasion, so Chris could step out from behind the camera.  Once the 'Little Green Family' had their private time, the rest of us got to come in and see her.

We knew she would have a cleft palate and lip.  We then learned her heartbeat, vitals and breathing looked pretty good.  Hallie still has a very long road ahead of her but we are all excited and prayerful.  The outpowering of support and prayers has been overwhelming- for Chris and Katie but also for the rest of us.  We are all just trying to soak in time with her and each other.  Thank you from all of us and we will continue to try to keep people updated.

Katie and Chris- you guys amaze me with each and every step.  I know there is a lot you have to learn and a lot you don't quite understand, but you're doing it together and faithfully.  I love you.

Pregnancy Update - 38 weeks

Baby is the size of: At the ultrasound today... she's measuring 4 1/2 lbs. We know this can be off a bit, but it's about what we are expecting.

Symptoms: I've been having some contractions every once in a while this week. They are small, but I can feel them. This made me get on the ball and start at least getting things organized to pack - just in case she decides to come early! We had a "stress test" to monitor heart rate/contractions today and I could see & feel some small contractions.
Oh, and my big toe was asleep for a week. Strange!! Dr said it goes along with the feet swelling.

Maternity clothes? oh yeah.

Sleep: Sleeping ok. I wake up on my back a lot and it doesn't feel great to have all the pressure sitting on me. But the process of turning on my side is not fun, either.

Fun moment(s) this past week: Hmmmm... a few things. We moved Farrah to a big girl bed. I kinda can't believe we did it this close to Hallie coming, but we did the same with Bella before Farrah was born. And it's surprisingly gone really well. All of her naps and nights have gone great except one, and it wasn't too bad. I think she loves being in a bed like her sister!!! My parents made both beds. Here is Bella's. And here is a phone pic of Farrah's:

Those pictures just made me realize we need to go back to pink in their room!! Chris... we have anything going on this week? :)

Tonight I had dinner with 4 other Trisomy mom's and it was just wonderful! It it just so great to meet other women who just "get it" and to see how each of their babies have affected those around them. They are just all wonderful women, all in different stages, and wow! Each of their stories are touching and a light for others!

Movement: Um, still a lot. In fact, we learned at the ultrasound today that she is BREECH again! So we will wait and see how she is positioned this Friday at my last OB appt, and can have her turned (ow!) Monday before being induced, too. I am hoping she turns on her own. She has plenty of fluid and is small so either way should be fine.

Gender & Name: Hallie Lynn (Lynn is Chris' mom, my sister and my aunts middle name!) About time we decided, huh? :) We think it goes well with Bella Reese and Farrah Kate.

What I am looking forward to: Meeting Hallie!! I seriously cannot believe I only have a week left. I am sort of a crazy wreck in some ways, but calm in others. I've been nesting like crazy today. I even cleaned out the car. What?!?

Reflections on the past week: Wow, I've been all over the place. But I've mostly been ok. I had some contractions early Sunday morning around 5am and my mind was spinning... "should I be up packing right now because I have nothing packed?!?!" Then I fell asleep and they stopped. I've been feeling big and over being pregnant. I've been sad, anxious and nervous. I have had such a good time with my kids - they are a true joy and make me so thankful. Chris and I have had lots of talks this week, as this is becoming more real to him, too. So this last week has been more of the same - a roller coaster, but maybe with a few more hills. I expect this is how the next several months will be. But I truly feel ready to meet my little angel.

Prayer requests: Wow. I just don't know where to start. So far, all of our prayers have been answered. Thank you so much. Just look at this prayer we asked you to pray for us back in June:

God, give us more hours of joy than pain. Allow us to turn the corner of sorrow, to celebration. Cause us to see her as a gift. And allow us to cherish every moment she’s with us. Change our hearts.


I mean, I never would have guessed that our prayers would be so overly answered by God. But He knew. We are so so thankful that He is a God of compassion and love. He's bigger than all of this. I still don't know that I'll ever understand, but I don't feel alone in my sadness. And when the harder times that are still to come get here... I'm confident He'll get us through it. Thank you for praying for these last 6 months!!


One thing I have not yet mentioned, we do have a wonderful photographer Christy Martin, who is also with the organization "Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep" We are so thankful to know Christy and to know that this resource is out there for parents like us! If you are a parent that goes through something like this, NILMDTS is wonderful!! Thank you, Christy!!


Again, thank you all for the prayers, thoughts, messages, cards, meals, watching our kiddos... we are forever grateful. We will keep you updated this week! 

Belly Pics

I haven't been great at getting belly pictures this time around. It seemed like such a big task to do every week like we did with Bella, although I love that we did those! And I didn't do them with Farrah, but we did monthly pictures of her with the teddy bear in the chair and I love those too!!

And with maternity shots... we had some done with Bella. Angela Morris did an awesome job. I don't think we had any official maternity photos done with Farrah?

Chris had his photography gear out Tuesday and took some photos of me & Hallie after I returned home from a Christmas party. (Usually I'm in PJ's by 4pm!) We were even able to capture the B&W photo, similar to the one we had with Bella. I'm glad we took some!

Pregnancy Update - 37 weeks (Full Term!)

We are here - Full Term - wow.


Baby is the size of: She's probably still under 5 lbs, but she doesn't feel like it! :) 

Symptoms: Feet and hands are a bit swollen. Not as bad since it's not really hot out, but when I finally get around to shaving my legs (ha!) I can tell my feet are swollen. And I haven't been wearing my rings for a few weeks because I was scared they'd get stuck.

Maternity clothes? Kristy had given me a couple of boxes a while back, and I never went through one of them. I remembered and it was like Christmas morning! A couple more shirts to add to the wardrobe for a few weeks. :) 

Sleep: Sleeping well. 

Fun moment(s) this past week: The girls spent the night at GG's this weekend and Chris and I celebrated/relaxed for his b'day. At Spa Sydell, I got a facial (thanks again, friends!!) while I got Chris a  massage for his birthday. We then Christmas shopped a bit and then hung out with friends in Athens to watch the game. UGA was doing so well... I literally laid in a recliner the whole game (even snoozed in the 4Q). We were probably lame guests, but it was so nice to just sit and relax! :)

Movement: Still lots. Her feet are on my right side and I feel her heels quite often. She must be using my bladder as a punching bag. I'll take it!

Food cravings: Anything I don't have to fix. haha! I'm tired of my own cooking. In a rut still with meals. 

Gender & Name: Hallie. I'd like to decide on a middle name this week so we can monogram stuff. 

What I am looking forward to: Hmmmm... not sure. I am honestly ready for Dec 19 to get here (as ready as I'll ever be). But not ready for her to come early, so stay put, sweet Hallie! I am ready for the torturous waiting to be over. I don't necessarily want to rush through the next two weeks, but yeah... I'm ready. 

Reflections on the past week: This is always the last category I fill out. Because where do I even start? The last 2 days have been good. Tonight, our most recent small group came over to love on us - brought meals and prayed over us. We felt so loved! I love my church and small groups. Our small group (before the last) is also just awesome. I love that we have so many friends through these groups.

I am so thankful for all of the prayers from everyone - just the nice thoughts, emails, hugs. I've said it before, but it's overwhelming; in a good way! I am just amazed at the generosity of friends, co-workers, family, etc - past and present. Thank you!! I am sorry if I am (really) slow to respond to emails. I promise I read them all, and I'm keeping all my cards. 

Last week as a whole - I was honestly just blah - sad, anxious. Thankfully just at night and I've (mostly) been able to hold it together during the day and let it out at night :) I cried for the first time through my doctor's appointment. I was trying so hard to hold it together, but couldn't. It's not something I really shared with anyone, because I actually have forgotten until now. It is just happening more now. I'm trying to remind myself that it's OK. I'm just not a public crier! But there is nowhere for the emotion to go but out now! We are two weeks away from meeting our daughter. Emotions are high and I'm wearing them on my sleeve.

I know yall think I'm strong, but I'm not. Promise you that. I think when you go through something like this, you realize you still have to function. You are still needed by others. And in all the sadness & sorrow, you realize you need more than to rely on yourself. There is nothing that can make this all better; no one who can fix this in the way we'd like to here in this world. 

But I know a few things. 

1) Christ's strength is made perfect in my weakness.

2) Hallie is perfect, made perfectly in His image. I'm proud of her. I love her.

3) If we get 5 minutes or 50 years with Hallie, God will still get the glory for her life. 

4) I won't regret a minute of this. Ever.

I hope yall know I share all of this to hopefully help people going through similar things, and just as a witness to God's goodness in the midst of suffering. I don't share everything (mostly because it's hard and you'd probably worry about my sanity), but I also love sharing as much as I can about Hallie and how her life has affected me. She has changed us! 

Prayer requests:

Little "Quinn-Bean" passed away Friday. Continue to pray for Meghan and Steve. This is my fourth friend with whom I've walked this path (whether online or in person), and the fourth little angel that passed. It is so sad, but yet they each have been such a light to me... knowing they were thankful for moments they got with their little girls, or just knowing God was with them when they chose to carry these precious gifts. Meghan and Steve were given 5 days with Quinn, and she said they are so thankful. Is that not a God thing? You know, that we can be so torn up inside going through this, then truly thankful for the moments we are given. I am thankful for Meghan, Miranda, Kalee, Devany and Kara, and watching each of them. 

And thanks for praying for us. We pray Hallie stays put for the Dec 19 date, because that's what I am ready for in my head- not earlier. Because you know I won't pack before Dec 17-18. ha. And we pray for our families, as we know they are double-affected by Hallie -- worried about her and worried about us.

Here is the video from church where we were able to share a bit about our story. 

http://buckheadchurch.org/messages/story-of-us

Pregnancy Update - 36 weeks (9 months!)

Baby is the size of: Had an ultrasound today! Hallie is measuring around 32 weeks - about 4 lbs 5 oz. So she hasn't gained much (7 oz) in two weeks... but she is still growing.

Symptoms: Carrying a bowling ball around. Bending with it, carrying kids with it, and trying to sleep with it is quite funny and uncomfortable. :)

Maternity clothes? Can't I just wear PJs the rest of this pregnancy??

Sleep: Same. Love it, should go to bed earlier but that's the story of my life, and I sleep well once I'm asleep.

Fun moment(s) this past week: Thanksgiving was relaxed and fun. We were able to enjoy both sides of our awesome families. Thanksgiving made me think of my Grandmom and how I miss ol' Wewahitchka Thanksgiving days... but I made her fruit salad and it was so yummy.

Movement: She's still moving a good bit. Likes to work on her stretches. She's head down, feet kicking me in the right side (we feel heels often), and a little bum under my ribs. 

Food cravings: No huge cravings. Bella and I killed some fruit salad over thanksgiving, though.

Gender & Name: Hallie

Belly Button in or out? I think it's officially out. 

What I am looking forward to: Chris' birthday is this weekend. We don't have set plans yet, but I look forward to hanging with him. Probably includes watching the UGA game somewhere. (Have I mentioned that we don't have cable since we moved back in March?!? It has been great until football season!!)

I'm also meeting the OB Friday that will deliver me on the 19th. I'll get 2 appts in with her before the 19th, so that is good.

Reflections on the past week: This roller coaster is getting longer and more bumpy. I am thankful for the good days/hours, for family, for my fun girls, my husband, and for the enormous help and prayers from friends. Your encouragement (coming in various forms) does not go unnoticed and helps me so much. 

I have so many thoughts I would love to write. Maybe I will get to it one day. I had a few hard days this past week. Then Saturday night I read a couple more chapters in "I Will Carry You" and I feel like she is writing exactly how I feel. It was encouraging and a reminder that God is with me. And that although I would change this outcome in a milisecond and I plead with God to heal our daughter or give us time with her, God will still be glorified in all of this. Through Hallie.

I was also honored to share my story with our church (via a video - no public speaking for this girl!!) this past week. It was hard to talk and tell Hallie's story, and kinda funny to see my face up on a screen, but it was also freeing to talk about. If it goes up online, I'll post a link. :)

Prayer requests: 
First, you can pray for Meghan and Steve. They had their daughter Quinn today (also having Trisomy 13) and she made it through labor like a champ. She's in the NICU now and I pray they get so much time with her!!

Just prayers. I'm trying not to panic and let fear and anxiety of the unknown take over. I can feel it, almost rushing up my throat in the most random times. It is really hard not to focus on the future, and I know that I do better if I just focus on the here and now. One day at a time. But there is also so much to prepare for. Chris and I are going to try and be as "ready as we can" by the end of the week - nesting, cleaning, making packing lists, etc.

Now off to sleep....

Pregnancy Update - 35 weeks

Baby is the size of:  Not sure anymore! At my last OB appt this week for my 34 week appt, I was measuring 31 weeks. That's the size of a large jicama...and... I don't know what that is! All I know is I FEEL 40 weeks pregnant most of the time. Like a basketball is there every time I want to bend down, pick anything (or anyone) up, or pull my pants up over it.

Symptoms: Is feeling like a 90 year old a symptom? I ache. 

Maternity clothes? so.over.them. My jeans have gotten their money's worth, for sure.

Sleep: Sleeping good once I get comfy. I can still lay every way possible - stomach, back, and both sides. But I tend to sleep most of the night on my right side. 

Fun moment(s) this past week: Dinner with my best friends. We had PF Changs (yum!) and lots of good catching up. They each sent me home with a sweet note that I just loved sitting in bed and reading. These girls know me so well, and each of their friendships is so precious to me. 

We also celebrated Farrah's 2nd birthday Saturday. I have some pictures coming! We visited a firestation because of her love of fire trucks. That was fun. And here is a cute video of her blowing out the candles:

Movement: Still huge movements!! I am guessing with her being smaller and having lots of room to move around... she takes advantage! They are movements that make me stop and I know my eyes look like they are about to pop out of my head! But you know what... I love it! It doesn't hurt, but they are such big movements. I am so glad she makes me pause and think about her so often! I can also rub my stomach, much like I rub Bella or Farrah's back, and she'll kick/hit back. :) Bella loves for us to rub her arms as she falls asleep. Farrah likes her hands and armpit (ha!) rubbed. Makes me wonder what Hallie would like. 

Food cravings: I don't know about cravings, but I am in a rut with meals. I feel like we eat the same thing every week. You know how you just get in those ruts sometimes?? 

Gender & Name: Hallie! 

Belly Button in or out? barely in

What I am looking forward to: Thanksgiving :) Yummy food and a break from our routine.

Reflections on the past week: sooooooooooooooooooooooooo many. One thought I've had a lot lately is how proud I am to be Hallie's mom. As hard as it has been, and as hard as it's getting and going to be... I think Hallie has been such a fighter and will change many people's lives for the better. We KNOW our God could step in and give us a miracle. But we also know that she may not have healing on this side of heaven. No matter what, she is a miracle. We didn't think at 14 weeks when we got bad news that she would make it this far. She's come so far and taught us so much as parents and as followers of Christ. We love her so much and are so proud of her.

Prayer requests: For my nerves. The anxiety of all that can and will happen in the next 4 weeks just weighs on me so much. I don't know that there is really a way to avoid that. But I do pray for comfort and peace in this last month of pregnancy. 

Pregnancy Update - 34 weeks

Baby is the size of: We had yet another ultrasound today! Hallie is following in her sisters' footsteps by being photographed a ton :) She is measuring around 3.5 lbs (I think - it went by so fast today, Chris and I felt like we didn't catch much!) So she's still smaller than a typical pregnancy, but growing! She was head down today. Hopefully she settles down there soon! 

Symptoms: Just tired and feel more uncomfortable than I look.

Sleep: Still sleeping well. I think the girls have had little colds this week and it makes them sleep even better - I'll take it! Yesterday morning I had to wake Farrah up at 9, even though all 3 lights/lamps had been turned on by her sister at 8. Chris and I are night owls and I think we are raising little owls... 

Fun moment(s) this past week: The girls I volunteer for & with at church threw me a surprise shower on Thursday. I was so honored and just feel blessed! They "showered" me with lunch and some pampering things for me - a facial, lotions, and a gift card to Dry Bar. I look forward to my Thursdays so much and just being with them.

Movement: This could be Hallie's middle name. I love it, though. They are by far the biggest movements I've had with my pregnancies. 

Food cravings: sweets. pumpkin stuff. more sweets. Oreos for dinner, anyone? 

Gender & Name: Hallie

Belly Button in or out? the verdict is out on this one

What I am looking forward to: Having a girl's night Friday with my best friends and then celebrating Farrah's 2nd birthday Saturday! This week is going to be busy but good! 

Reflections on the past week: Up & down. Thankfully, most of it up. The hard nights are filled with the anxiety of the unknown. As you can imagine, as a mom, I am entering a nesting phase but I don't know what to totally do with all of that. I want to be ready for Hallie to come home, but I also want to be prepared for her to not come home and make the most of that time. I know she doesn't need much when she comes home. I am sure I will just hold her the whole time :) She'll be in our room, etc. Bella reminds me daily that, "We need to set up the pack n' play for Hallie!" I don't want to worry you all with every detail that goes through my head. I just have to get through those nights and remember that I can't control everything. Then I have days/nights like today where I'm cool as a cucumber and bad thoughts are far away.

Prayer requests: About the same as last week. Pray we make it until the Dec 19th induction with smooth sailing. That is only 5 weeks away, and I'm not ready for anything sooner. I have a gut feeling that we are going to get there and meet her and I just know whatever happens, it's going to be precious time. This baby is one prayed over baby - thanks to all of YOU - and there is a peace in all of this suffering. It's amazing. I smile every time she moves (which is a lot!) and I am so thankful for that.

Pregnancy Update - 33 weeks

Baby is the size of: Feels like I'm carrying a watermelon.

Symptoms: Waddling. 

Maternity clothes? oh yeah! but my favorite clothes are my pjs. :)

Sleep: Sleeping well at night. I hardly get up for potty breaks, which is a great change from the 2nd trimester that I remember. I am thankful for kiddos that like to sleep, too - for the most part. 

Fun moment(s) this past week: The 3D ultrasound was pretty hard to beat! 

Movement: Huge movements! As I mentioned before, Hallie moved to head down around 31-32 weeks. As of Saturday morning at the 3D ultrasound, she had flipped back to breech. I honestly think she's going back and forth. The movements I feel with her are so much bigger than I felt with my first 2 pregnancies. 

As I am sitting here, in fact, it seriously feels like she is doing flips over and over. It's crazy!

Food cravings: Anything pumpkin. Pumpkin Spice Latte, Pumpkin cookies, Pumpkin dip. 

Gender & Name: Hallie still needs a middle name. I just love her first name so much, I forget that she needs a middle one, too! :)

Weight gained: blah blah blah 

Belly Button in or out? Chris told me I have an outie now. I'm not sure it's all the way out, but it's on the verge!

What I am looking forward to: hmmmm... I don't know this week. I'm a bit apprehensive about the holidays this year, just not knowing what to expect or where we'll be- what it will look like. But I love the time of year & decorating, etc. So I am going to try to talk Chris into decorating a lot earlier this year (like now) so we can enjoy it even longer. :) I love my white "girly" tree.

Reflections on the past week: I think I wrote a lot of refections in my last post. Overall, I just feel anxious about the coming weeks and don't see it letting up. I'm trying to "not be anxious for anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God." This is so hard to do when I'm in the moment of being anxious or just sad. When I'm sad, it will literally hit me out of nowhere and I can't pinpoint the actual feeling. It's so many feelings! But I find that at the end of a hard day (or almost any day, really), that my girls and my husband are presented to me in such a way that I can't help but just be thankful. They are so stinking sweet and innocent. And Chris was such a servant this week and weekend, when all I wanted to do was NOTHING! :) So although I have times of sadness (some quick, some longer), I go to bed every night truly happy with what I do have. I am not saying all my problems go away at all... but I honestly do feel blessed if it's nothing more than just my family and all the sweet support from friends and even strangers.

(I wrote most of this last night. Then I read a book in bed last night and I started getting all anxious again and it totally spilled over to today. Praying for some of that peace to come back to me...)

Prayer requests: I don't think I've really shared this yet... mostly because like everything else, it's up in the air. But we are aiming for a December 19th induction date. This would be my 39th week. That is 6 weeks away (can you feel my anxiety in that sentence?) :) Of course this is while monitoring Hallie's health and my blood pressure (which has always been fine). My prayer is to make it to the 19th and that I can have a smooth, fast delivery like Farrah's. And for Hallie to stay strong through the whole process. Stay strong, little fighter!

This week & 3D Ultrasound

This has been a week full of Hallie and thinking about our journey. I pretty much always think about it, but this week it seemed to be all out front instead of the thoughts rolling around in the background of everything.

I met with a girl who just got news of her baby boy having severe partial Trisomy 13. She was so encouraging (Hi Kara!) and it was a reminder of how special it is to meet other moms going through this stuff. Two other girls I've "friended" and communicated with over the last couple of months had their babies. One too early. One at 37 weeks and they were able to spend 2 days with her. Then, I had the privilege to tell my story (to be shared later...). Thinking through my "story", writing it out, and then saying it all out loud was good. But I think it's all just heavy and I'm just now realizing that stress & grief just take energy out of you. I guess I knew this in theory. But I think now that some of my tiredness & soreness it is just the pure weight of everything.

We ended the week with a 3D/4D Ultrasound that Chris' dear co-worker gave us. It was truly a great gift. We were able to share this with our family. I know they are also going through their own journey along with us, so it was so special to have that to share with them. This was also the first time the girls came to an ultrasound. Bella could point out some body parts. Farrah wanted to be on the table with me. She wasn't sure what to think about the whole thing ;) We all were able to do breakfast together afterwards and it was a wonderful day.

Hallie is super flexible. She is back to being breech. (I think she's going back and forth judging from the huge movements I feel!) She likes to have both of her arms and legs in front of her face! It took a while, but we were finally able to get some pictures with just one hand up there. She would NOT move that one arm out of the way. The fluid levels were perfect for getting pictures -- but I think she just wants us to wait to see her all!! :) I even got up and danced and did jumping jacks.

Here's a few:

Flexi baby with all of her arms and legs in front of her face!

She's got a little sass' (haha - that's her middle finger!)

SWEET SWEET HANDS


Thanks for all of your prayers, each of you. Most days I still can't believe this is our situation. Hallie is moving and grooving in my tummy and I am loving it. I am ready to meet her. But not ready. I know God will get us through whatever is to come just like He's gotten us this far. But I'm definitely more anxious as we get closer.

pregnancy Update - 32 weeks (8 months!)

Baby is the size of: She should be about the weight of a small cabbage. :) Crazy - babycenter.com says she now has fingernails, toenails and a respectable amount of hair or peach fuzz. For some reason, I haven't looked at these growth things weekly like I used to with Bella & Farrah. So to read that, I was somewhat surprised and it reminded me that we don't have too much longer to go...

Also, I don't think I've mentioned before, but I have a two-vessel umbilical cord (normal is 3), so really this just means babies usually are smaller because of this. It can happen in any pregnancy, but is common with Trisomy 13.

Symptoms: Walking around like I'm 80 years old, sore hips when I wake up or sit down for a while, heartburn (but goes away so fast with Tums!)

Maternity clothes? Yes. Every once in a while, I can throw in a non-maternity shirt to break up the rotation of maternity clothes.

Sleep: Sleeping well at night. I try to rest and sometimes nap during the day. It helps so much!

Fun moment(s) this past week: No big events this past week. I enjoyed a hair appt & a date night with my hubby, though!

Movement: She is a MOVER! I can't wait to kiss those little feet that kick me all day.

Food cravings:  Glad today is Halloween and this candy is leaving!!

Gender & Name: Hallie

Weight gained: I should gain about 1 lb a week now, with half of that going to Hallie. I have a doctor appt Wednesday to see where I am. yahoo.

Belly Button in or out? still in, barely. :)

What I am looking forward to: A 3D ultrasound on Saturday!

Reflections on the past week: Up and down. And I don't mean that when I'm down I'm crying. It could just manifest in being in a mood and usually comes with being frustrated with having a strong willed & energetic 2 & 4 year old. This would happen without the stress of this pregnancy, but it takes me longer to get out of the funk maybe? I don't know... I've never had a 2 & 4 year old before :) All I know is I get in a rut when my body feels like it's 80 years old & I can't get all accomplished that I want. But as soon as the girls go down at night or when they spend the night at one of the grandparents, I miss the heck out of them!! I swear I have the sweetest girls. They are at such fun ages, I just have to remember that and not be so short with them on my bad moments...

Prayer requests: Again, that we can meet Hallie and spend as much time with her as possible - and that all of those moments would just be as blessed and precious as I hear they are. We have NO idea what our outcome will be. The spectrum is so large and we really won't know until she gets here how she will do. Her body works well in utero, we just have to wait and see how she does when she gets here. Doesn't that sound crazy? Not to have any control over it? That is hard for me, as a woman - I like control! Many days, there is actually freedom in not having control. Who am I kidding, anyway? I've never "really" had control of anything. It's all in God's hands. That is a cool thing and slightly terrifying at the same time. So we just have to plan as best we can with all sorts of possible outcomes.
So we just pray for clarity for decisions when we do actually go into labor. I am not good at making decisions (indecisive should be my middle name), so I just want to feel at the end of the day, we made all the BEST decisions for Hallie that we could. We feel like we are in great hands after meeting with the neonatologist and palliative care team last week and that is a huge relief.

Pregnancy Update - 31 weeks & ultrasound

Hallie!

Look at this sweet little foot :)

Baby is the size of: Hallie is measuring 2.5 lbs right now (per our ultrasound Monday). This is still about 2 weeks behind, which was about the same length of time as the last ultrasound. So that is good she's still keeping on her own curve. 

Symptoms: fatigue, varicose veins! Hallie, at every ultrasound, is all on my right side. Which explains why I've had such a hard time with the varicose veins this time. She's on my main vein that is on the right side...

Maternity clothes? Yep! 

Sleep: I love sleep and glad I'm sleeping well. Getting comfy is hard at first, but I fall asleep relatively fast. 

Fun moment(s) this past week: The girls' birthday party was a blast!! The weather was perfect and it was so great to see everyone. I just love my aunt's place - it's just the perfect party place and she is so so so generous in letting us always use it. 

Yesterday was fun. It was mine & Chris' 14 year dating anniversary! We had a Waffle House breakfast together, went to our 2 appts, then had lunch and yogurt together. Just he & I. My love tank was full!!!

Movement: Oh my goodness! This week went to a whole new level!! I think I actually felt her flip from breech to head down last Tuesday. I was in the middle of drinking chocolate milk and had my head tilted back. All of a sudden, I felt like she was about to reach up out of me! It was crazy. I didn't think about the fact that it was probably her flipping until at the ultrasound we learned that she had moved to that position. Now, I get all kinds of kicks on my right side and under my ribs. She is strong! 

Food cravings: Halloween candy :) 

Gender & Name: Hallie 

Weight gained: no comment. It's my blog and I'll cry if I want to. ha! or not tell my weight... 

Belly Button in or out? Still an innie

What I am looking forward to: We've had a friend give us a 3D/4D ultrasound. I think we may do that next week! This will be very cool to share with the girls. 

Reflections on the past week: I feel like I could write forever on this one. Tears can come at a drop of a dime - out of no where - and then be gone again 10 min later. But overall, I have felt a huge feeling of just being loved, loved on, and grateful this week. I don't feel alone at all, although I have to go through this, I know that so many of you are going through in with us. You have no idea how much that means. I would love time and the ability to write more on all kinds of feelings I've had this week - I just don't know how to get it all out there! Words don't do my thoughts justice!

Prayer requests: We would love to meet Hallie. Would you pray for that specifically? 

Pregnancy Update - 30 weeks!

Baby is the size of: a head of cabbage

Symptoms: heartburn, fatigue

Maternity clothes? I am over jeans already. I have some leggings but not many things to go with them. Such a first world problem. Ha!

Sleep: sleeping pretty good. I even go many nights without waking for a potty break. I still like naps, but I also go some days with going to bed a little earlier and then getting stuff done during the day. Naps are hard to say no to, though.

Fun moment(s) this past week: Celebrating my sweet Bella's 4th birthday.

Movement: Still a lot of movements. I'm pretty sure I can feel her doing total flips in there. And, she likes to kick my bladder.

Food cravings: Arnold Palmer, still. Yum!

Gender & Name: Hallie

Weight gained: Next appt tomorrow. If it's over what I want it to be, I'll blame it on the fact that I switched doctor offices and it must be the new scales. It could not be the early bags of Halloween candy :)

Belly Button in or out? Still in.

What I am looking forward to: We are having a combined birthday party for the girls this weekend. Crossing my fingers for good weather!! :)

Reflections on the past week: Doing well. It's amazing how many times a day I get asked by strangers now about Hallie. "When is #3 due?" "What are you having this time?" "Wow, a Christmas baby." And it's just as amazing that by God's grace I can just answer the questions easily without going into details. Not that everyone needs to know anyway, I guess I just expected it to upset me a lot more. It pings my heart - but that's not hard to do because I'm wearing it on my sleeve right now. But overall, I'm ok with it. I mean, people are going to ask. And I am having a third daughter, and she is already apart of our family.


It's funny... as a mom and a not-so-good planner, I go to the grocery store wayyyyyy too much. Most times, I have two kids in tow. And 95% of the time there is screaming from Farrah and crys from Bella of getting her hair pulled. And when people look at me... pregnant... I feel like they feel sorry for me. I probably would. ha! But I just am on edge about it, because I for some reason expect someone to eventually say... "And you are having another one?!?" and for me to unload on them and tell them I wish I were going to have 3 perfectly healthy babies to tote around - screams and all! I don't know why this scenario goes on in my head all the time at Kroger, but it does. Maybe because I really do look like a crazy mom.
Besides being concerned about looking like a frazzled mom with screaming kids (for real... why do my kids go nuts in the grocery store?) I am doing well.

Today... I read an article through a Babycenter Group I am in. (Side note: Who would have known there is a whole group for "Carrying to Term Despite Poor or Fatal Diagnosis") It has been a good resource to just read other ladies going thru similar things. I haven't written on there yet, but I have been stalking :)
Anyways... there is a really good article called "Notes from a Dragon Mom" - you can read if you want. I thought it was pretty insightful. Chris and I were talking today about how our parenting style just with Bella and Farrah will or has already changed. We agreed that, for sure - things that used to seem "serious" in parenting just aren't as serious anymore. I was already one to probably "enjoy every second with your kids because they grow so fast"... but now I'm also not stressing as much about the future.

Pregnancy Update - 29 weeks!

Baby is the size of: A butternut squash. since she's measuring small, I'll just imagine her as a tiny butternut squash :) Our next ultrasound is in 2 weeks.

Symptoms: Yucky heartburn. 

Maternity clothes? Bought a new pair of jeans this weekend and that makes me feel like a new woman! :)

Sleep: About the same. Hard to get comfortable and fall asleep... but then I sleep like a rock. 

Fun moment(s) this past week: A trip to The Rock Ranch. What a beautiful weekend here! I'll do a separate post on the day, but here are a couple of teaser pics...

And the visit from our friends from Sarasota. We hadn't seen each other since their last trip through Atlanta. And it was like no time had passed. I love that I knew it would be like that. It was so fun, and we just hung out and had lunch and let the girls play together. I love friends like this that you just click with. We have to get down to Sarasota again soon!

Movement: Hallie: oh yeah. Me: moving slowly.

Food cravings: A pretty constant thing I've liked during this pregnancy is a lemonade/tea mix. (Also called a Arnold Palmer. Not to be confused with Tom Arnold when ordering... not that I would know...haha) Today I realized.... Chick-fil-a will do this. And it was YUMMY! 

Gender & Name: Hallie 

Weight gained: Next appt is the 18th at the new doc. We'll see then... :)

Belly Button in or out? Still in, but I can see it all. 

What I am looking forward to: My sweet first born is turning 4 tomorrow. We are in disbelief! 4 years?!?

Reflections on the past week: It was a good week. I feel more at ease now that I made a decision to change delivering hospitals. It feels right and I finally got all the paper work transferred and an appt scheduled with a new OB. It feels good to have that behind me. And I think it kept me busy :) Now that I'm 29 weeks, I'll meet with a care team on a birth plan and meet the neonatologist. In some ways, I feel like we are on the home stretch, even though I still have around 10 weeks! In many ways, I am eager to get to the end of this pregnancy and just meet her (God willing) and in other ways I want to keep her in me forever. But for the most part, I just feel ready. The waiting is hard for me.

I really have a strong desire to share how I feel completely wrapped in God's arms through all of this. I feel like I've grown in my own personal relationship with him. If only I were a good writer and could tell you in beautiful ways. Although I would change my circumstance in a millisecond, I don't know that I could experience this in any other way than to walk through it myself. 

Prayer requests! (Newly added category): Here are some specific things that are on my heart and mind that you can pray for :)

• That we would make it full term and get to meet our precious Hallie
• Wisdom for the doctors 
• That we will feel clarity & peace with whatever decisions we'll have to make regarding Hallie's care
• Protection of my sweet Bella's tender heart in what ever is to come. Farrah's too, but Bella will of course be the one who understands more.
• That God is glorified in all of this

pregnancy Update - 28 weeks (7 months!)

Baby is the size of: a chinese cabbage (although Hallie is measuring 2 weeks behind, so I guess she's still about the length of a cucumber) 

Symptoms: swelling. ouch. 

Maternity clothes? yep. getting ready to get some fall maternity clothes out of storage. yippee!

Sleep: I sleep hard once asleep, but getting comfortable is no fun. I still like to lay on my tummy or back. Sleeping on my left side is suppose to help with the leg swelling but I can't seem to get comfy. Oh, and I'm now acting like a nap is a God-given right. I don't like missing mine! ha.

Fun moment(s) this past week: Being on the beach and watching the girls love just running around, chasing birds, playing frisbee. And also watching them dance at the wedding in Savannah. They are so fun!

Movement: Lots still. Hallie was moving all around as we sat in the sun this weekend. She seems to also like to stretch and push me around. :) 

Food cravings: No cravings really.

Gender & Name: Hallie ? Green

Weight gained: not getting on a scale at home. :) I like only knowing at appts! 

Belly Button in or out? still an innie.

What I am looking forward to: Hmmm... more of this weather?? :) And we have some out of town friends coming up this weekend. We haven't talked to them in like a YEAR! But they are the type friends you just fall right back into place with. We haven't yet told them about Hallie (or even that I'm pregnant). (We just haven't talked in that long and they aren't on Facebook or read blogs...)

In general, I find that the hardest part in talking about it is telling people the news. Once it's out there, I'm usually ok talking about it. I'm trying to find the balance of that in a lot of places in my life right now. For a long time, only people in our circles (family, church, work, etc.) knew because they knew I was pregnant or know us. But now that I'm showing, and life goes on... I meet new people and I feel like it has to come up all the time (new Bible Study, new people I volunteer with at church, neighbors). There is a comfort in being able to talk about Hallie when I want AND it makes me feel like I have somewhat of a normal pregnancy. But I don't like the discomfort in bringing it up when people don't already know. There's just no good way to bring that up in a conversation. There's not really a solution to this... I just deal with it as it comes along I guess.

Reflections on the past week: A pretty good week. I am getting more anxious as time goes on. I am within 3 months of having Hallie (or less), and that freaks me out. Not sure how else to say that. But the pregnancy is going fast where as at one time, Christmas felt really far away. But y'all know how this time of year flies by... The girls birthdays, Halloween, Thanksgiving and then BAM! It's Christmas. On one hand, I am ready for her to be here. So much of the stress is in the waiting. On the other hand, I'm not ready for her to be out of the safety of my womb.


I also have no idea how to put into words the things that go on in my head on a day-to-day or even an hour-by-hour basis. I could write so many different posts on so many different aspects of life right now... but I just don't know the words or have the time :)

I will say... I joined a new Bible study group that I haven't done in a couple of years - for moms. We are talking about the book "The Ministry of Motherhood" and it's done so much for my attitude and job as a mother. We just finished this week talking about grace in parenting and it was so good! I look forward to the rest of the book! I'm glad I did this study to remember to focus on being as good of a mom as I can during this time and not to tune out.

Love yall. Thanks for praying!

Pregnancy Update - 27 weeks & ultrasound

We had our specialist appt today. I feel like we were just there, but it's been 4 weeks already. Time is flying. No new changes with Hallie. Which I think is good - no reason to think she's going anywhere anytime soon (as far as Dr.'s can tell - she's under no stress). We saw her moving all around and even yawn or open her mouth once. :) It's such a strange thing to be in there - looking at her and looking perfect to us. So I just soak up the time watching her as if to figure out her personality now. I was thinking today - this really could be my only reality with her, here in these offices.

Her butt was down, and her head, feet and hands were all on my right side. Looks like another flexible baby :) She finally flipped over so we could get a decent profile picture.

The Dr. then had us meet with a palliative care team. I was happy to meet with them, but it was kinda of spontaneous, and I didn't have much prepared as far as questions. But I did have some, and they were answered. So now we have some things we need to decide as parents as far as care goes for Hallie after she is born. You can pray for us as we seek clarity on that.

Farrah and Bella's pediatrician also called today. She just found out about Hallie and I thought it was very nice of her to call and give me her advice.

It's really just amazing how little info is out there. There is a lot online, but because Trisomy is somewhat rare (not totally rare, but rare enough) each Dr may only see a couple of cases of this ever. And even then, each case is different. So it can be scary to be on that end of things. But we also have complete confidence in all of these doctors and we just have to let all of OUR wants for Hallie be known, and not let the medical field make those decisions for us. I am thankful we do live in the US, in a big city, and have lots of options available - and even have to pick between good hospitals. Not everyone has that.


Baby is the size of: 14.5 in cauliflower; about 2 lbs (today's estimate from the Dr is that Hallie is 1 lb 12 oz, measuring about 2 weeks behind) 

Symptoms: heartburn at night. nothing Tums can't take care of. And still the swelling under my belly. i have a feeling that's only going to get worse. Oh, and now I have varicose vains popping up. I read that Hallie is probably sitting on the large vein on the right side of my body, which in turn increases pressure in the leg veins. Time to actually start sleeping on my left side, taking breaks to get off my feet, and buy some compression hose. yahoo.

Maternity clothes? yes sir. 

Sleep: slept much better this week. And we hung up something over the window to make the girls' room darker, and it's totally making them sleep better. Friday & Saturday mornings (Chris' days off) the girls slept until 9am. Yes!

Fun moment(s) this past week: The fair!! Chris and I also had a date afternoon/night on Saturday and went to see The Help. It was so good! 

Movement: Lots and lots of strong kicks from Hallie. Chris can watch them, too. Movement for me... uh... I like to make my bending down strategic. If I'm picking something up, I like to pick up/clean as much as I can while I'm down there to minimize bending. ha! Funny how all of a sudden I feel 39 weeks pregnant.

Food cravings: nothing specific

Gender & Name: We need a middle name, haven't talked about it. It needs to not start with a vowel. I've wanted to use my middle name for all the girls (Ann), but it never seems to work with the initials of our girls.

Weight gained: Ok, geez. 15 lbs. This is a little ahead of where I was with Bella (& probably Farrah, I didn't keep as good of track with her). But I have 13 or less weeks to go... so I'll just be more careful... right....

Belly Button in or out? Didn't make time to focus on my belly button this week. :) I'm sure it's still there.

What I am looking forward to: We are going to Savannah this weekend with my whole family to attend a wedding. We're staying in a house all together in Tybee. FUN! I can't believe it's almost October...

Reflections on the past week: I just realized this week that I'm in my 3rd trimester, and have been since 25 weeks. This pregnancy is going fast it seems. I had a much better week. 

Strength & Hope

Like I spoke about in a previous post, I actually knew a good bit about Trisomy from reading blogs in the past. I don't know how I came to find them, but I followed Copeland's life first. I remember being up in the wee hours, during Bella's night time feedings, rocking and reading. I was amazed by her faith and strength. To be honest, more than anything, I was sad and didn't understand how one got through this. And I would just rock Bella and be so thankful for a healthy baby and family. And I'd cry (Chris did not understand why, on top of my baby hormones, I would read these blogs! haha!)

A couple of years later, I read about Hogan too. His dad wrote the blog and it was so cool how he did it. It really celebrated Hogan's short life. Pretty cool to read a dad's prespective. It was through these two blogs that I learned about Trisomy 18. (Similar but a little different than Trisomy 13.) That was pretty huge for me, because when I was told of the possible diganosis, I knew right away that I could carry this baby (even if it was a really hard journey) I knew of and had read of many that went through the same thing.

Over the last couple of years, I also followed more sad and heart wrenching stories. I also had a high school / blog friend loose a child. That of course was a lot harder as it was someone I knew. Watching her faith and strength was amazing, though. Amazing.

With all of these stories, I said the same thing. "Their strength is so inspiring. They are so strong!"
Another reason I was drawn to the blogs of the people I didn't know was to learn. My biggest, darkest fear has always been to loose someone close to me. I've spoken about this with small groups, close friends and my husband. But I've had a pretty easy life. I haven't gone through any big trials. So I've always been afraid of how I would react, how my faith would really play out if I were to have to go through something big.

I am not strong. God is holding me up. Your prayers are holding us up. And I realize now that those stories are not stories of people with incredible strength. They are real people who looked at their situation, knew they couldn't do it alone - and shared their story through a lens of faith. Without faith in something bigger than ourselves, without faith in a God who truly loves me, I may be able to "survive" because I have two other kids to take care of. But I certainly would have no hope, no joy, and this would be much much harder. I promise you this, my faith is no stronger than yours. It's just that mine has been put out for everyone to watch and see how we will react.

Thankfully I knew right where to turn when we first found out. Chris and I of course we devastated, but we thought, "If we are going to go through this, we're giving it our all."

I am learning that being strong and having faith doesn't mean I can't cry. God is quick to listen to my every plea, he doesn't turn away when I'm super short with my husband, he doesn't get angry when I get angry at my kids, he's patient when I don't understand. And I think he understands when I can cry at a blink of a dime. I'm not perfect and He doesn't expect us to be, especially when going through the ugliness of grief.

It's not fair that I have to go to regular appts and have people ask, "Oh, you're having a Christmas baby!" Agggggg, Christmas is my favorite time of year. I am just sad about this. We have no idea what this year will be like. It's cruel that my situation is never far from my mind, clouding so many things and making them seem less enjoyable. I hate thinking about possible funerals when I should be thinking about showers and diapers and decorating another room.

But after dark periods (some shorter than others - although I feel like all of last week was a long dark time), I wake up and realize - I have HOPE. I will meet Hallie one day, face to face, whether that is here on earth or in heaven. And she'll be perfect either way. I can have joy and sorrow through all of this and no one would expect anything different. They go hand in hand:

When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight. 
Some of you say, "Joy is greater than sorrow," and others say, "Nay, sorrow is the greater."
But I say unto you, they are inseparable. 
Together they come, and when one sits alone with you at your board, remember that the other is asleep upon your bed. 
Verily you are suspended like scales between your sorrow and your joy.
-Kahlil Gibran


This kinda seems long & rambly... but my point is... I'm not strong alone. I'm still standing because I have a Father in Heaven who loves me and shows me true JOY & gives me HOPE in the midst of unspeakable pain & sorrow.

Pregnancy Update - 26 weeks

Baby is the size of: a (hothouse?) cucumber

Symptoms: Still just the pressure the belly puts on everything. ouch!!!

Maternity clothes? I wear the same pants like every day, but at least I like them?!

Sleep: Didn't do so well this week on sleep. One or two children being sick will do that to you. Friday night, Farrah was up every hour! Um, do I have a newborn?! Naps didn't happen well. But we are back on track and I'm already really really looking forward to a nap today in this weather!

Fun moment(s) this past week: Chris & I went to a fun wedding Sunday afternoon. It was cool & different in a neat art gallery downtown. The bride was BEAUTIFUL!! Oh my goodness. I had not met her before, but you could see her glowing!

Movement: Lots!

Food cravings: This week I passed my gluecose test. I may have celebrated by eating way too many donuts earlier this week and a bag of cotton candy at the fair last night.

Gender & Name: Hallie :) 

Weight gained: Seriously, do I have to answer this? :)

Belly Button in or out? Still in, but I can see all of it. Flattening out.

What I am looking forward to: The announcement of Rachael's baby today! She just gave birth and I'm waiting to hear girl or boy!


Today is also our 8 year wedding anniversary. I'm married to the best person I've ever met. And I mean that. I like to think we were made for each other. But I'm pretty sure any girl would be most honored to be Mrs. Chris Green. I'm so happy I'm her, and that he is the best father my girls could ask for. I love Chris more than I can express.

Reflections on the past week: It was a hard, hard week. I'd like to write more, later. But right now... I need a nap! So check back.

Pregnancy Update - 25 weeks

Baby is the size of: 13.5 in rutabaga. What??

Symptoms: getting a bit uncomfortable.

Maternity clothes? yep.

Sleep: sleeping pretty well! Grateful for that.

Fun moment(s) this past week: Celebrating Rachael's baby and then Kelly & Bobby's baby boy. Both coming VERY soon!!

Movement: She moves a lot these days. Chris gets to feel a good bit of her kicks, too.

Food cravings: none in particular.

Gender & Name: Hallie

Weight gained: ?

What I am looking forward to: Fall & fall weather. And the girls' birthdays will be here soon, too!

Reflections on the past week: auuuuuuuuuggggg. Overall, fine. But a few teary times this week. Something about realizing this week that I'm "25" weeks" and have less than more weeks left has kinda hit me.We had a talk about things parents shouldn't have to talk about - decisions that need to be made now and not when Hallie is born. I was able to (somehow) research and talk about this stuff with Chris objectively. It of course is heavy stuff, but I was able to think about it because we NEED to, not because I wanted to. Then the little things are what can bring me to tears.

Like Saturday, we were loading the kids up to go run errands and my maternity jeans had to be pulled up for the 500th time already that morning (they drive me nuts!) and I got in the car and just cried. Because I have to wear maternity pants, act like a normal pregnant woman, and may not get the same results as a normal pregnant woman. It's not fair. I sometimes mourn that my body is going through all the usual motions of being pregnant, and it's just a reminder to me of what I am going through. What is to come. As much as I try to just think about all the good things and how I know it will all be worth it, it's just hard sometimes. And although I would never change my decision to carry to term this precious girl, the situation just sucks. But I knew it would. I knew it wouldn't be easy. But it's not the little things that make me upset, it's just a compilation of all these little things.

I try to not worry about the future, because there is nothing I can do to change it. I know God has me in his hands. But that doesn't always keep me for actually worrying and just being scared and sad.

I've also noticed how worship music affects me. We have a CD in the car of all the music played in Waumba land. (Yes, preschool music.) But it's not typical kid music. It's many of our musicians from church and they are just good. They of course are positive and "happy" songs. But also really catchy and my girls LOVE it. They have motions to every song. And I can sing right along with them, and I can claim every word they say. It's sounds cheesy, but I like it.

Then, at church - our music is soooo wonderful. And I don't say that just because Chris works there. I mean, yall know if you go there... it's just good. But man, lyrics can just cut to the heart when you are going through stuff, you know? Sometimes I cry, other times I feel like I could have a really good cry, but hold the tears back harder so that people won't look at me. Either way, I could cry every time. Nothing wrong with it of course. But I don't want stares or people worrying about me, etc. I guess I should get over that.

Wow... that was some rambling.

Thank again for all the prayers, sweet notes, books, even gifts and more prayers. They mean so much. I'm reading one that was given to me called "I Will Carry You" by Angie Smith and it is great.