I think that it is really special that Hallie was born around Christmas. I dreaded it during the pregnancy, not knowing where we would be on Christmas and how much despair we may be in. I worried that Christmas would never be the same.
Oh, and it won't be. Totally different than ever before. So much richer. God blessed us with a sweet, sweet, beautiful miracle - an early gift. Christmas was certainly hard (understatement), but it's indescribable the feeling of peace we had. I'm not sure I'll ever understand it myself, much less be able to describe it.
And as wonderful as Christmas is - Easter is where it's really at! Easter has been overshadowed big time! (Who came blame us - the old sweet man bringing presents is much better than the scary rabbit who hides eggs!!) But Easter is what our faith is based on. Without the actual death and resurrection of Jesus, we would have no hope of anything. No hope of seeing Hallie again. But we do have that hope. He is RISEN. And of course, like everything else I experience now - Easter has an even deeper meaning to me this year.
Don't get me wrong - seeing baby shoes at Target and imagining Hallie in them, matching her sisters... my stomach just tightened. It's not NATURAL that my baby isn't alive. It's just not right. I have my hours, days, weeks where I am just in a funk and I KNOW that missing her is the at the core of that. Most days, I still ask myself if this all really happened. It doesn't feel real because I didn't even get to know Hallie fully. It can be a strange feeling, knowing I met her and only had 5 days. 5 days are nothing, but they are everything to me! Those 5 days have forever changed me. But Easter was a time to reflect on hope, newness, wholeness... I focused on that!
Thank you God, for the cross.
We did about 20 Easter Egg hunts in the front yard during the last week. We started early in the week to get excited about the hunts for the weekend. It was a great activity, too! We also made resurrection rolls. Ours didn't come out as pretty! haaaaa! I tried to put 2 marshmallows in them. Stick to the recipe, Katie!!!
Saturday we went to a neighborhood Easter Egg Hunt.
But I have to say, the best part of that morning was "BubbleMan" Have you heard of him?? I had not. He comes with a big cart of all these huge bubble wands and the kids go NUTS!! It was pretty cool!
Our church had a Saturday night service and 3 Sunday services! So in between some on Sunday, we ate Easter lunch/dinner at my aunts home. I think that's been the tradition the past few years. It works well for us since she is down the street! One day, maybe they'll let me bring something other than deviled eggs and canned cranberry sauce (Or maybe not, considering my cooking skills above.)
It was beautiful weather. It's been just a wonderful spring so far! Although the pollen is terrible, I'll take it. I can't complain when we're able to get outside almost any time of day and (sneeze) enjoy it.
Random: You know 2 year olds say best best things. Farrah calls jelly beans "gummy-geens."
Anyways... here are a few cute pics from the day:
My mom, me, my Grandmother
