Tuesday, December 25, 2012

Monday, December 24, 2012

Remembering Today

Chris made this sweet video. Today we remember the light Hallie brought to Christmas. We are doing great and love being with family this time of year! Thanks for remembering our Hallie!

First Annual Hallie Lantern Release - Hallie Lynn Green from Chris Green on Vimeo.

Sunday, December 23, 2012

Visiting Santa

We visited Santa this week. When I told Farrah that afternoon that we were going, she walked around the house and kept saying, "Mom! I love Santa now!!" (She has seen last years video where she clung to GG the whole time!! haha) Looking back, I'm pretty sure she was trying to talk herself INTO loving Santa; trying to pump herself up. She was great until we walked up to him. Then... we had to pry her down and beg her just to stand in front of Santa. Bella is so funny - she's holding onto Farrah, telling her that Santa is wonderful, all the while holding a perfect smile!

bassproSANTA

Bella wouldn't say what she wanted for Christmas. Claims he should already know from the note she wrote him. Farrah wouldn't say a word so Santa guessed that she loved Ariel (which she does) so now that is what she wants. 

I can't say enough great things about Santa (Rick!) at Bass Pro. Everyone loves him. He was busy even on a Tuesday night; luckily my mom went up and got a reservation at 5:30 for 7:30 on short notice. He remembered us all and our names. Then proceeded to pay for our pictures. He's amazing. He is so sweet and gentle and patient with the kids. All the "elves" there also cannot say enough good things about him. It was a great way to kick off Hallie's birthday week. 

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At school Thursday, Santa came to visit the kids. Farrah was crying to me (a fake cry I might add) that she didn't want to. As soon as she got up there, she was all smiles?!?! So maybe she's good now! Bella still wouldn't say what she wanted and Farrah just smiled and nodded her head. 

I LOVE THESE TWO GIRLS SOOOO MUCH!!!

(Oh, and it was also PJ day at school!) Thank you for the pictures, Joy!!!

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Thursday, December 20, 2012

One Year Birthday Anniversary

Yesterday (Dec 19th) was Hallie's one year birthday.

I had NO idea how I would feel. No two people's grief is the same. And no two days of my own grief are the same, really. I didn't plan anything. Because I wasn't sure if I'd want to do anything. If I'd want to be around anyone. How do you plan something like that anyways? I knew I wanted to celebrate her, but I also felt a sadness coming over. With the holidays approaching and feeling like I'm right back to figuring out what Christmas looks like again... last year was just so different. I feel myself getting overwhelmed out shopping because I just miss last year... focusing on just her. 

A few days ago, Bella had her first real emotional time with missing Hallie. I think it's the season, too. Remembering her. And listening to her song in the car this weekend, she just boo-hoo'd. Bella is sensitive, but she's never done this before (about Hallie). She said she just really misses Hallie and thinks about her everyday. We talked about how it was ok to cry, that mommy does sometimes too. It was good. And then in true 5 year old fashion, she was back to normal in 5 minutes. 

So, the morning of Hallie's birthday I was still unsure. Unsure about what to do. It was my intention to keep Bella home from preschool, and for us three to just cuddle all day. Except that would only last the length of a cartoon. I decided I needed a day to myself. Really just to nap and be quiet for a while. The girls confirmed this when they woke up with a sweet spirit of remembering Hallie! They were excited to have muffins on our special birthday plate and Farrah even sung Happy Birthday. Bella requested that we make a special treat that she could take to school to celebrate Hallie's birthday (like everyone does, so it made sense to her!) We made some quick treats and she was kinda speaking and asking rhetorically, "It would be Hallie's first birthday. But she's not here. She's in heaven. That doesn't make sense that she died, she wasn't even 40 lbs yet!" (her weight, haha) 

And that stuck with me. It doesn't make sense. And we are sad. We miss having a third sister. Another daughter. Another granddaughter. But we love her like the other two, and I feel blessed to have had a few days with her. Many more would have been wonderful. 500 other pictures of her would have been great. But NONE of it would have ever been ENOUGH. So I just agree - it doesn't make sense. I don't have all the answers. But we love you, Hallie, and we praise God for you. 

So... after a wonderful mid-day nap, Chris and the girls came home around 2. We then felt confident in our emotions and that it would be nice to be with the family that surrounded us those 5 days. So we all got together and ate dinner. And celebrated just being together. And got excited about new babies coming next year (Christina is due with Aspen any day now, and Ryan and Melissa are expecting in May!) Melissa had a lantern that we lit in honor of Hallie's one year. It was cool and fun - and got stuck in a tree. Dad ran and got a blower, and we were able to retrieve it and let it go again. Lots of laughs and love and hope. Just what we needed. And then Chris and I just soaked in two precious, precious sweet girls passed out in the van on the way home. Love our families. Love our girls so much.

Thanks for your continued prayers! We hope you have a very merry Christmas!!!

Tuesday, December 4, 2012

Hallelujah - Free Song Download

Good morning!

I know most of you know our story. You were and have been so wonderful in praying for us. Especially this time last year as Hallie was preparing to enter this world.

God has shown us so much love through other people. One example is our friend Casey Darnell. He came to Chris after Hallie passed away letting us know he'd begun writing a song for her (and us). It was beautiful! I knew right away I wanted it played at her memorial service. Chris and Casey got together and had it recorded with some amazing musicians (thanks to donations from a generous person). It is just breathtaking for me. We have been listening to it a lot the last few weeks - it's like a Christmas song to me. Since Hallie represents what I think of as Christmas now. We call it "Hallie's song" and the girls love it, too. Oh my goodness, to hear them sing it with their sweet voices just about kills me. The song is entitled, "Hallelujah."

As December has started, and we near Hallie's first birthday, we would love to share this song with you! Below is a link for a free download. You can download it and listen to it at home or in the car. Share it with others! We hope you enjoy it as much as we have. I just love having anything that has to do with Hallie and reminds me of her life. It confirms to me that she did exist, that this all really did happen. That she matters to us and matters to God.

This is a free, downloadable song. Just enter your email address and zip code and the song will be emailed to you. You also will see a link for an donation on the site. That is completely optional. A large portion of each donation goes directly to Hope From Hallie (HopeFromHallie.com).

Here is the link! Enjoy!!
https://noisetrade.com/caseydarnell