Julianne June Green

Julianne June Green was born at 12:30pm on June 19th! She was 20.75 inches long and 8 lbs 2 oz. Perfect!! She's just perfect. I'm late on this post (majorly!!) especially compared to all of her sisters. But that's because I'm just taking her all in and loving it. I'm also adjusting to three little ones in the house. It feels so great though. I love my little family and we are overjoyed that Julianne has made her arrival safely. She fits in so great already.



Here are some fun shots of our 5 day stay at the hospital! Northside treated us so well. The perinatal loss group, Heart Strings, who was so wonderful with us and Hallie - made sure we felt great and celebrated our rainbow baby with us.







Isn't she perfect?!?






There are things about her that remind me of Bella, Farrah and of Hallie. I can't wait to see what her little personality is like, but for now I'm just holding her and loving on her and soaking up this sleepy baby stage!!!

Thank you all for loving us and celebrating our little Julianne with us!

One Year Birthday Anniversary

Yesterday (Dec 19th) was Hallie's one year birthday.

I had NO idea how I would feel. No two people's grief is the same. And no two days of my own grief are the same, really. I didn't plan anything. Because I wasn't sure if I'd want to do anything. If I'd want to be around anyone. How do you plan something like that anyways? I knew I wanted to celebrate her, but I also felt a sadness coming over. With the holidays approaching and feeling like I'm right back to figuring out what Christmas looks like again... last year was just so different. I feel myself getting overwhelmed out shopping because I just miss last year... focusing on just her. 

A few days ago, Bella had her first real emotional time with missing Hallie. I think it's the season, too. Remembering her. And listening to her song in the car this weekend, she just boo-hoo'd. Bella is sensitive, but she's never done this before (about Hallie). She said she just really misses Hallie and thinks about her everyday. We talked about how it was ok to cry, that mommy does sometimes too. It was good. And then in true 5 year old fashion, she was back to normal in 5 minutes. 

So, the morning of Hallie's birthday I was still unsure. Unsure about what to do. It was my intention to keep Bella home from preschool, and for us three to just cuddle all day. Except that would only last the length of a cartoon. I decided I needed a day to myself. Really just to nap and be quiet for a while. The girls confirmed this when they woke up with a sweet spirit of remembering Hallie! They were excited to have muffins on our special birthday plate and Farrah even sung Happy Birthday. Bella requested that we make a special treat that she could take to school to celebrate Hallie's birthday (like everyone does, so it made sense to her!) We made some quick treats and she was kinda speaking and asking rhetorically, "It would be Hallie's first birthday. But she's not here. She's in heaven. That doesn't make sense that she died, she wasn't even 40 lbs yet!" (her weight, haha) 

And that stuck with me. It doesn't make sense. And we are sad. We miss having a third sister. Another daughter. Another granddaughter. But we love her like the other two, and I feel blessed to have had a few days with her. Many more would have been wonderful. 500 other pictures of her would have been great. But NONE of it would have ever been ENOUGH. So I just agree - it doesn't make sense. I don't have all the answers. But we love you, Hallie, and we praise God for you. 

So... after a wonderful mid-day nap, Chris and the girls came home around 2. We then felt confident in our emotions and that it would be nice to be with the family that surrounded us those 5 days. So we all got together and ate dinner. And celebrated just being together. And got excited about new babies coming next year (Christina is due with Aspen any day now, and Ryan and Melissa are expecting in May!) Melissa had a lantern that we lit in honor of Hallie's one year. It was cool and fun - and got stuck in a tree. Dad ran and got a blower, and we were able to retrieve it and let it go again. Lots of laughs and love and hope. Just what we needed. And then Chris and I just soaked in two precious, precious sweet girls passed out in the van on the way home. Love our families. Love our girls so much.

Thanks for your continued prayers! We hope you have a very merry Christmas!!!

Happy 3rd Birthday, Farrah!

Ahhhhh!!! Three years old??
I love this little Farrah Kate Green.
Even though I am surprised she's turning three, I can hardly remember not having Farrah around.
She adds so much to our house.
She is so smart. SO goofy. Cuddly when she wants.
LOVES to play dress up.
LOVES LOVES to do anything and everything that her big sister is doing.
She likes to try things herself, and I have to remember even though she's the baby of the house, she's very capable.
I love her little, long stories.
Her dance parties.
Her little hands.
And of course her voice.
Her love for her family, BELLA, her grandparents and friends.
We all love you, Farrah Beara!!
We can't wait to see what the next year holds for you.
Happy third Birthday!

Bella turning 5

My first born is 5 years old.
Wow!
It has flown by.
She is sweet, caring, giving, thoughtful. Tender hearted.
A great friend.
And so much fun!
Learning what Jesus is all about and how much God loves her.
Smart, inquisitive, and a wonderful big sister.
What a joy it is to be her mom.





Can you believe all of this was 5 years ago!?!? I certainly can't.

Disney - Day Three!

Day Three in Orlando meant Magic Kingdom and my birthday!! I totally don't usually care about my birthday, but it was fun to have it while at Disney! I even got to wear a pin all day that said Happy Birthday and all the workers and cast members say something to you! It even got us in the fast lane of Peter Pan when there was a 50 min wait one time! I'll take it!! :)

We were all so excited! There really is just something about the energy at Disney. We loaded up the double stroller with lunch, ponchos, CHRIS' CAMERA (duh), tons of snacks and two cuties and were on our way! We got there early and took the ferryboat over. Bella stood up at the railing and immediately went all pirate on us. "Arrrrrrggggg!" she said!

Farrah just sat and took it all in!

We're here!!

It was a great overcast morning (with just a few spinkles). We took a chance because they said 80% chance of rain - but I couldn't stand waiting another day to go! And we picked a great day.
We walked right onto a few rides in the morning. Peter Pan was a favorite, Bella did not like the Snow White Scary Adventures. She was a big girl, but made sure that we weren't going to ride it again. They also LOVED the teacups. The favorite of the day was the race cars. Giggles all around!!

We watched the 4D movie a couple of times! I loved watching the girls reach for things. They also loved getting to ride the carousel.


After lunch, we realized it would be best if we left to get some rest and come back for the evening festivities. Farrah fell asleep so quickly in the stroller, and all the way back to the car - then she was WIDE AWAKE! And Bella was all of a sudden, too. So we just came home and had downtime and cooled off. We then picked up dinner and headed back.
Right as we walked through the gate, the bottom fell out of the sky! But it was perfect timing - we got to go inside and see Cinderella, Belle and Sleeping Beauty. I didn't know how Farrah was going to react... but she was IN LOVE!!! They were both completely in awe. Farrah kept going back for second hugs.

Belle gave her a big smooch!

The weather delayed the parade about 20-30 minutes... but it did finally come! The girls were pretty antsy as we had to hold our places to watch. And it sprinkled just a bit again.

We then turned around and watched the fireworks show at the castle. Amazing!


We then rode Peter Pan, teacups and racecars again :) We wore the girls OUT!! It was only 10pm when we left, but it felt like 2am with kids. They were OUT so fast! Chris and I enjoyed a quiet ride back on the ferry.


It was a wonderful day. A great way to ring in my 32nd birthday. We loved being big kids with our kids. Here's to a great year!

Disney Day 1 & 2!

We drove down to Disney and didn't tell the girls where we were going! We left the house around 7am, made a couple of stops, and arrived around 3pm. Bella's two guesses for where we were going were: "To spend the night at a restaurant!" and "Africa!"

When we arrived at the house, the only thing they had their eye on was the pool!! We wanted to capture the moment of telling them where we were (instead of trying to capture it in the car on the way to Disney the next day!) Chris set the camera up and we told them... Bella said, "Can we go swimming now??" They had no idea what "going to Disney World" really meant. But that changed when they saw the castle on our third day!!



That night, we hung out in Downtown Disney.


The next morning, we had a character breakfast at Beach Club Resort. Goofy, Minnie and Donald were all in attendance. Bella loved it! It's a little awkward to know how to interact with these characters because they don't talk. But she gave lots of hugs and high fives. Farrah liked them all at a distance. When they would come to the table, she'd stare straight ahead at Chris and I, would get flush and overall just looked like she was trying to hold it together!! I think she cried on Goofy's second visit with us. Her favorite part was waving hardcore as they left our table. And she loved the waffles.



That afternoon we woke up and had some snacks!


That evening, we spontaneously got together with the DeFeo's that just moved down to Orlando! Courtney is my friend Katie's BFF. We came to give Courtney and her girls hugs from the Douglas girls (and us!) Katie just had her baby boy last week and I know she can't wait to come visit Courtney. It was great to see them and get to know them better and my girls had fun playing with Ella and Larson!


Monday... was my birthday!! I guess Disney found out and gave me a great day and firework show ... :)


more to come...