Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Pregnancy Update - 36 weeks (9 months!)

Baby is the size of: Had an ultrasound today! Hallie is measuring around 32 weeks - about 4 lbs 5 oz. So she hasn't gained much (7 oz) in two weeks... but she is still growing.

Symptoms: Carrying a bowling ball around. Bending with it, carrying kids with it, and trying to sleep with it is quite funny and uncomfortable. :)

Maternity clothes? Can't I just wear PJs the rest of this pregnancy??

Sleep: Same. Love it, should go to bed earlier but that's the story of my life, and I sleep well once I'm asleep.

Fun moment(s) this past week: Thanksgiving was relaxed and fun. We were able to enjoy both sides of our awesome families. Thanksgiving made me think of my Grandmom and how I miss ol' Wewahitchka Thanksgiving days... but I made her fruit salad and it was so yummy.

Movement: She's still moving a good bit. Likes to work on her stretches. She's head down, feet kicking me in the right side (we feel heels often), and a little bum under my ribs. 

Food cravings: No huge cravings. Bella and I killed some fruit salad over thanksgiving, though.

Gender & Name: Hallie

Belly Button in or out? I think it's officially out. 

What I am looking forward to: Chris' birthday is this weekend. We don't have set plans yet, but I look forward to hanging with him. Probably includes watching the UGA game somewhere. (Have I mentioned that we don't have cable since we moved back in March?!? It has been great until football season!!)

I'm also meeting the OB Friday that will deliver me on the 19th. I'll get 2 appts in with her before the 19th, so that is good.

Reflections on the past week: This roller coaster is getting longer and more bumpy. I am thankful for the good days/hours, for family, for my fun girls, my husband, and for the enormous help and prayers from friends. Your encouragement (coming in various forms) does not go unnoticed and helps me so much. 

I have so many thoughts I would love to write. Maybe I will get to it one day. I had a few hard days this past week. Then Saturday night I read a couple more chapters in "I Will Carry You" and I feel like she is writing exactly how I feel. It was encouraging and a reminder that God is with me. And that although I would change this outcome in a milisecond and I plead with God to heal our daughter or give us time with her, God will still be glorified in all of this. Through Hallie.

I was also honored to share my story with our church (via a video - no public speaking for this girl!!) this past week. It was hard to talk and tell Hallie's story, and kinda funny to see my face up on a screen, but it was also freeing to talk about. If it goes up online, I'll post a link. :)

Prayer requests: 
First, you can pray for Meghan and Steve. They had their daughter Quinn today (also having Trisomy 13) and she made it through labor like a champ. She's in the NICU now and I pray they get so much time with her!!

Just prayers. I'm trying not to panic and let fear and anxiety of the unknown take over. I can feel it, almost rushing up my throat in the most random times. It is really hard not to focus on the future, and I know that I do better if I just focus on the here and now. One day at a time. But there is also so much to prepare for. Chris and I are going to try and be as "ready as we can" by the end of the week - nesting, cleaning, making packing lists, etc.

Now off to sleep....

Friday, November 25, 2011

Farrah's 2nd birthday

I am short on words tonight (blame it on the turkey if you want :)) ... but not short on pictures. Or short on love for this unbelievable child. She's awesome. So sweet. So stinking smart. Sensitive, caring, kissable and talkative. She makes my day at least 5 times a day.

We started with the birthday breakfast & pancakes!

She loves talking about fire trucks, trains, trucks. So we took her to a local fire station. She was shy at first, but before we left enjoyed climbing into them.

I'll end with some of my favorite phrases she says right now. Her voice is so sweet, I could freeze her in this age for sure.
I love you too, Mommy.
She loves to play with the I Spy books. When she finds something, she points at it and says "BOOM!" (taught to her by dad)
Thank you Mommy.
Bless you.
All better!!!!! (after getting a boo boo and it being kissed)
Yummy in my tummy!
Tootsies (cookies)
"God our Father" prayer
Oh Goodness!
Ohhhh Man!

Ok, there are really too many to mention. It's that sweet voice -- anything she says is just awesome. And the girl can talk!!! She knows her ABC's, can count to 12... then skip to 18, 19, 20. :), she knows her shapes and almost all the colors. She is proud that she can draw a circle. A favorite activity is pulling chairs around the house to get to what she wants to do (mostly "wash hands" and "do dishes"). Loves dance parties. Starting to ask for pig tails.

Ok, so I'm not that short on words. I love that little girl with the big personality!

Monday, November 21, 2011

Pregnancy Update - 35 weeks

Baby is the size of:  Not sure anymore! At my last OB appt this week for my 34 week appt, I was measuring 31 weeks. That's the size of a large jicama...and... I don't know what that is! All I know is I FEEL 40 weeks pregnant most of the time. Like a basketball is there every time I want to bend down, pick anything (or anyone) up, or pull my pants up over it.

Symptoms: Is feeling like a 90 year old a symptom? I ache. 

Maternity clothes? so.over.them. My jeans have gotten their money's worth, for sure.

Sleep: Sleeping good once I get comfy. I can still lay every way possible - stomach, back, and both sides. But I tend to sleep most of the night on my right side. 

Fun moment(s) this past week: Dinner with my best friends. We had PF Changs (yum!) and lots of good catching up. They each sent me home with a sweet note that I just loved sitting in bed and reading. These girls know me so well, and each of their friendships is so precious to me. 

We also celebrated Farrah's 2nd birthday Saturday. I have some pictures coming! We visited a firestation because of her love of fire trucks. That was fun. And here is a cute video of her blowing out the candles:

Movement: Still huge movements!! I am guessing with her being smaller and having lots of room to move around... she takes advantage! They are movements that make me stop and I know my eyes look like they are about to pop out of my head! But you know what... I love it! It doesn't hurt, but they are such big movements. I am so glad she makes me pause and think about her so often! I can also rub my stomach, much like I rub Bella or Farrah's back, and she'll kick/hit back. :) Bella loves for us to rub her arms as she falls asleep. Farrah likes her hands and armpit (ha!) rubbed. Makes me wonder what Hallie would like. 

Food cravings: I don't know about cravings, but I am in a rut with meals. I feel like we eat the same thing every week. You know how you just get in those ruts sometimes?? 

Gender & Name: Hallie! 

Belly Button in or out? barely in

What I am looking forward to: Thanksgiving :) Yummy food and a break from our routine.

Reflections on the past week: sooooooooooooooooooooooooo many. One thought I've had a lot lately is how proud I am to be Hallie's mom. As hard as it has been, and as hard as it's getting and going to be... I think Hallie has been such a fighter and will change many people's lives for the better. We KNOW our God could step in and give us a miracle. But we also know that she may not have healing on this side of heaven. No matter what, she is a miracle. We didn't think at 14 weeks when we got bad news that she would make it this far. She's come so far and taught us so much as parents and as followers of Christ. We love her so much and are so proud of her.

Prayer requests: For my nerves. The anxiety of all that can and will happen in the next 4 weeks just weighs on me so much. I don't know that there is really a way to avoid that. But I do pray for comfort and peace in this last month of pregnancy. 

Monday, November 14, 2011

Pregnancy Update - 34 weeks

Baby is the size of: We had yet another ultrasound today! Hallie is following in her sisters' footsteps by being photographed a ton :) She is measuring around 3.5 lbs (I think - it went by so fast today, Chris and I felt like we didn't catch much!) So she's still smaller than a typical pregnancy, but growing! She was head down today. Hopefully she settles down there soon! 

Symptoms: Just tired and feel more uncomfortable than I look.

Sleep: Still sleeping well. I think the girls have had little colds this week and it makes them sleep even better - I'll take it! Yesterday morning I had to wake Farrah up at 9, even though all 3 lights/lamps had been turned on by her sister at 8. Chris and I are night owls and I think we are raising little owls... 

Fun moment(s) this past week: The girls I volunteer for & with at church threw me a surprise shower on Thursday. I was so honored and just feel blessed! They "showered" me with lunch and some pampering things for me - a facial, lotions, and a gift card to Dry Bar. I look forward to my Thursdays so much and just being with them.

Movement: This could be Hallie's middle name. I love it, though. They are by far the biggest movements I've had with my pregnancies. 

Food cravings: sweets. pumpkin stuff. more sweets. Oreos for dinner, anyone? 

Gender & Name: Hallie

Belly Button in or out? the verdict is out on this one

What I am looking forward to: Having a girl's night Friday with my best friends and then celebrating Farrah's 2nd birthday Saturday! This week is going to be busy but good! 

Reflections on the past week: Up & down. Thankfully, most of it up. The hard nights are filled with the anxiety of the unknown. As you can imagine, as a mom, I am entering a nesting phase but I don't know what to totally do with all of that. I want to be ready for Hallie to come home, but I also want to be prepared for her to not come home and make the most of that time. I know she doesn't need much when she comes home. I am sure I will just hold her the whole time :) She'll be in our room, etc. Bella reminds me daily that, "We need to set up the pack n' play for Hallie!" I don't want to worry you all with every detail that goes through my head. I just have to get through those nights and remember that I can't control everything. Then I have days/nights like today where I'm cool as a cucumber and bad thoughts are far away.

Prayer requests: About the same as last week. Pray we make it until the Dec 19th induction with smooth sailing. That is only 5 weeks away, and I'm not ready for anything sooner. I have a gut feeling that we are going to get there and meet her and I just know whatever happens, it's going to be precious time. This baby is one prayed over baby - thanks to all of YOU - and there is a peace in all of this suffering. It's amazing. I smile every time she moves (which is a lot!) and I am so thankful for that.

Sunday, November 13, 2011

We started decorating...

We are usually a "day after Thanksgiving" decorating family. But we've started early this year to enjoy it all even longer :) The video above is the start of my "girl" Christmas tree with all pink ornaments. We'll wait to get our new tree because there is no way I could keep one alive until Christmas. (ha! plus... I'm sure they aren't out yet, right?)

We even had hot chocolate and watched Elf last night in our PJ's!

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Halloween '11

We trick-or-treated in the neighborhood this year. We ate dinner as we walked (ha!) It was fun as both girls were able to walk to doors (Farrah wasn't walking this time last year) ... and we only did a few blocks before they were worn OUT!
Lots of homes on our street went ALL out decorating. Bella loved just going in and standing in front of all the scary stuff. Farrah, on the other hand, wanted very little to do with it. She liked to get her candy and immediately sit down in the driveways to check out her loot and open the candy.
We were out only about an hour then went back to hand out candy.
It was gone in about 10 minutes. IT WAS NUTS HERE! Groups come in the 20's (not kidding). Bella liked helping give the candy out!

Monday, November 7, 2011

Pregnancy Update - 33 weeks

Baby is the size of: Feels like I'm carrying a watermelon.

Symptoms: Waddling. 

Maternity clothes? oh yeah! but my favorite clothes are my pjs. :)

Sleep: Sleeping well at night. I hardly get up for potty breaks, which is a great change from the 2nd trimester that I remember. I am thankful for kiddos that like to sleep, too - for the most part. 

Fun moment(s) this past week: The 3D ultrasound was pretty hard to beat! 

Movement: Huge movements! As I mentioned before, Hallie moved to head down around 31-32 weeks. As of Saturday morning at the 3D ultrasound, she had flipped back to breech. I honestly think she's going back and forth. The movements I feel with her are so much bigger than I felt with my first 2 pregnancies. 

As I am sitting here, in fact, it seriously feels like she is doing flips over and over. It's crazy!

Food cravings: Anything pumpkin. Pumpkin Spice Latte, Pumpkin cookies, Pumpkin dip. 

Gender & Name: Hallie still needs a middle name. I just love her first name so much, I forget that she needs a middle one, too! :)

Weight gained: blah blah blah 

Belly Button in or out? Chris told me I have an outie now. I'm not sure it's all the way out, but it's on the verge!

What I am looking forward to: hmmmm... I don't know this week. I'm a bit apprehensive about the holidays this year, just not knowing what to expect or where we'll be- what it will look like. But I love the time of year & decorating, etc. So I am going to try to talk Chris into decorating a lot earlier this year (like now) so we can enjoy it even longer. :) I love my white "girly" tree.

Reflections on the past week: I think I wrote a lot of refections in my last post. Overall, I just feel anxious about the coming weeks and don't see it letting up. I'm trying to "not be anxious for anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God." This is so hard to do when I'm in the moment of being anxious or just sad. When I'm sad, it will literally hit me out of nowhere and I can't pinpoint the actual feeling. It's so many feelings! But I find that at the end of a hard day (or almost any day, really), that my girls and my husband are presented to me in such a way that I can't help but just be thankful. They are so stinking sweet and innocent. And Chris was such a servant this week and weekend, when all I wanted to do was NOTHING! :) So although I have times of sadness (some quick, some longer), I go to bed every night truly happy with what I do have. I am not saying all my problems go away at all... but I honestly do feel blessed if it's nothing more than just my family and all the sweet support from friends and even strangers.

(I wrote most of this last night. Then I read a book in bed last night and I started getting all anxious again and it totally spilled over to today. Praying for some of that peace to come back to me...)

Prayer requests: I don't think I've really shared this yet... mostly because like everything else, it's up in the air. But we are aiming for a December 19th induction date. This would be my 39th week. That is 6 weeks away (can you feel my anxiety in that sentence?) :) Of course this is while monitoring Hallie's health and my blood pressure (which has always been fine). My prayer is to make it to the 19th and that I can have a smooth, fast delivery like Farrah's. And for Hallie to stay strong through the whole process. Stay strong, little fighter!

Saturday, November 5, 2011

This week & 3D Ultrasound

This has been a week full of Hallie and thinking about our journey. I pretty much always think about it, but this week it seemed to be all out front instead of the thoughts rolling around in the background of everything.

I met with a girl who just got news of her baby boy having severe partial Trisomy 13. She was so encouraging (Hi Kara!) and it was a reminder of how special it is to meet other moms going through this stuff. Two other girls I've "friended" and communicated with over the last couple of months had their babies. One too early. One at 37 weeks and they were able to spend 2 days with her. Then, I had the privilege to tell my story (to be shared later...). Thinking through my "story", writing it out, and then saying it all out loud was good. But I think it's all just heavy and I'm just now realizing that stress & grief just take energy out of you. I guess I knew this in theory. But I think now that some of my tiredness & soreness it is just the pure weight of everything.

We ended the week with a 3D/4D Ultrasound that Chris' dear co-worker gave us. It was truly a great gift. We were able to share this with our family. I know they are also going through their own journey along with us, so it was so special to have that to share with them. This was also the first time the girls came to an ultrasound. Bella could point out some body parts. Farrah wanted to be on the table with me. She wasn't sure what to think about the whole thing ;) We all were able to do breakfast together afterwards and it was a wonderful day.

Hallie is super flexible. She is back to being breech. (I think she's going back and forth judging from the huge movements I feel!) She likes to have both of her arms and legs in front of her face! It took a while, but we were finally able to get some pictures with just one hand up there. She would NOT move that one arm out of the way. The fluid levels were perfect for getting pictures -- but I think she just wants us to wait to see her all!! :) I even got up and danced and did jumping jacks.

Here's a few:
Flexi baby with all of her arms and legs in front of her face!
She's got a little sass' (haha - that's her middle finger!)

Thanks for all of your prayers, each of you. Most days I still can't believe this is our situation. Hallie is moving and grooving in my tummy and I am loving it. I am ready to meet her. But not ready. I know God will get us through whatever is to come just like He's gotten us this far. But I'm definitely more anxious as we get closer.