Monday, August 15, 2011

Pregnancy Update - 21 weeks

Baby is the size of: a banana

Symptoms: tiredness. Back is better this week. Pain & swelling in my pelvis (I had this with Farrah, too) I think it's just from my abs not picking up the slack and holding the baby up. That, plus I still pick up Farrah a good bit. And... my third baby in 4 years... :)

Maternity clothes? Half/half still. I have a pair of jeans I can still wear and the maternity jeans drive me crazy how you have to pull them up all the time. So... I still stick to dresses, skirts or Nike shorts! :) I love how pregnant women look "cute" and I don't feel there yet. 

Sleep: Love it! This weekend was like all the stars aligned and we got tons of sleep & naps around here. Friday, I had a THREE hour nap! Of course.... I was wide awake at 2am, but that nap was awesome.

Fun moment(s) this past week: Our church opened up a new hall for the preschool age kids this week. We have soooo many kids! I volunteer during the week to help get curriculum ready, clean, etc and I just love it. I love our church for one. And secondly, it gives me an outlet to some great girls. And thirdly, I really like making copies. haha! Maybe it's the quietness. Or completing tasks without being interrupted and feeling accomplished. :) Anyhow, I was there a little more this week helping the amazing staff get everything ready. It is so cool to see how everything works behind the scenes. The additional space looks so great!

Movement: Lots of it. You can see her jumping around in my stomach most mornings. That always amazes me. This week, Chris and Bella were able to see it happening!

Food cravings: We've been eating healthy around here the past couple of weeks. We watched a documentary called "Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead" and it inspired us (mostly Chris, which is great if you know the foods he likes!) He's been juicing for the whole family and we've made a few trips to the farmers market to try new things. (added tonight at 10:10 - don't even ask what fast food I'm eating right now!)

Gender & Name: We have a name!! We have a name!!! Post coming soon! 

Weight gained: ?? Appt this week!

Belly Button in or out? Still chillin' inside.

What I am looking forward to: Beach Bummin' it!

Reflections on the past week: I don't know. I know from this blog it might be hard to tell, but I actually have a hard time talking about my feelings. This journey of course causes me to do that more. This week has been good (is it bad that I measure how good my week is by how many times I cry?) I don't know how else to measure how I'm doing. Because of course, I am never far from my real thoughts. I can't escape what is happening. But I also feel pretty well, and my pregnancy "feels" physically like my other two.
I don't know what is to come, but I have had a feeling this week that I'm going to see this pregnancy all the way through. I have no medical reasons to think this, I just can't imagine any other way than getting to see her.
There are some things that we also just have to face. Things that parents shouldn't have to do or think about. Like should I plan ahead for funeral, etc? I have no idea. She could certainly be with us for long after her birth. We have NO idea. That is what is SOOO HARD! But I also don't want to be caught having to make a decision with no research or planning behind it. I just don't want to face it, so I haven't done any of that yet.
ALSO... to make this post even longer :) ... Bella talks about "my baby sister" every day. I actually purposely don't bring it up. I just don't know how to handle it. Because I know her little heart won't really understand it all, but I also know she's pretty darn smart and will see her parents hurting at some point. I told her when we first found out we were pregnant that the baby would be here at Christmas (I'm due 12/26), but haven't brought it up since. But she talks about "This is where the baby will sleep at Christmas..." And at parties, she wants to get an extra party favor for her "baby sister." She even tells strangers at the pool that I'm pregnant which then strikes up conversation where I just grin and bear it. It's not that hard to do... and I really don't know any other way to go about it...
Anyhow, it's just those moments and those parenting moments that I know God will give us just enough Grace for when the time comes... 


Nana Julie said...

It's been a good week for me too. :) Love your words & thoughts. Love you...

shea said...

You are an incredible person. Thank you so much for sharing. You all are in our prayers.

Emily said...

I love love love your realness and honesty! It's SO important that you aren't holding back on things b/c someday your girls will all read this and it's wonderful that they will know the REAL you ya know? Plus it gives others strength too!!! I'm praying for you, and I too feel like this baby (can't WAIT for the name!) will be here as scheduled at Christmas. I'm not sure how I would personally handle the whole planning for the future thing...I do think you may want to consider hiring a photographer for the day she's born to capture as many precious pictures as possible? I also think it'd be smart to tell Bella something so it won't all be a shock?!?! I remember on the "bring the rain" blog she wrote about how she told her girls...I'm sure you've read her story but I liked the stuffed animal thing as it's relate-able for them! I hate that you have so many tough decisions to make and things to deal with :( God will get you through it and you're doing awesome!!!!

kathy said...

Praying for you and your baby and family. My heart is breaking reading are a wonderful person.....GOd Bless you

Julie Tiemann said...

Oh sweet Katie, I'm so sorry you have to think about these things. I just can't imagine... Continuing to pray for sweet Hallie and praying that God will give you the wisdom and the strength for each day as it comes. And please don't hesitate to call on me for anything I can do - want to help lighten your load in any way that I can!