Monday, August 29, 2011
Pregnancy Update - 23 weeks & ultrasound
Oh, sweet girl.
We had an ultrasound today. Crazy how 4 weeks between each ultrasound can seem like both forever ago & like I just had one simultaneously. I was soooo eager to get news on Hallie today. Growth wise, we felt like we'd be able to see so much more and learn more about her. As much as I would like a doctor to tell me the future, it's not going to happen. They can only give their best educated guesses. And that is what we want. The more we know, the more research we can do and the more we can be prepared. We met with a new doctor. The past 3 ultrasounds have been with the same specialist, but we wanted to try someone new within the group. No one reason, we just felt like we wanted to hear from someone else.
So the new doctor was an older gentleman, and it was a good experience. He was great about answering our questions and we felt pretty at ease with him. Hallie was mover again today :). Basically we could see the hole in the heart and her cleft palate a little better. Her other organs look good and so does the fluid around her. He said that at this point, he doesn't see a reason for "demise in-utero" in the near future. That in his opinion, and I am paraphrasing to make this as simple as possible, that Hallie could very well make it to birth, or get very close. Time will only tell as she grows- and hopefully the fluid around her and the placenta cooperates to keep her comfortable. It's not that he is saying, "yes! she will make it to birth!" but he is saying that Hallie is doing well and he doesn't see any reason right now that concerns him.
I'm not sure how much I have explained about Trisomy 13 in my posts, so I hope all of this makes sense. T13 effects every cell in the body. It's not the heart or the cleft palate or anything ONE thing that is the problem- it's her whole body that is affected. She is special - and has an extra 13th chromosome in every cell. So this creates problems everywhere - her ability to breathe, eat, etc. Right now, my placenta is her life source. The outside world is where the problem is. I wish I could keep her safe forever inside of me. Until we meet her, I will enjoy every kick and know this is our special time together. And just pray that we get to meet her.
Baby is the size of: a large mango (Hallie is specifically estimated to be measuring about 1.1 lbs and about 1.5 weeks behind in size, which is a normal characteristic of Trisomy 13.)
Symptoms: Sore feet after standing/walking all day. Other than than some minor things, I love pregnancy in general.
Maternity clothes? yes, although this week I was almost exclusively in a bathing suit getting my white belly a tan :)
Sleep: I love sleep. I love naps.
Fun moment(s) this past week: The whole week was fun at the beach! I really enjoyed our night of "crab hunting" with the girls. They had little nets and we all had our own flashlights. The girls had never seen so many stars!
Movement: Yes, more and more. It's funny how much a little "mango" can move!
Food cravings: I've been craving/drinking more water lately, which is good, finally.
Gender & Name: Hallie! We haven't talked about middle names yet.
Weight gained: I don't even want to know after that vacation.
Belly Button in or out? I think it's ever so slowly starting to flatten out.
What I am looking forward to: Chris' cousin Brad is getting married to a wonderful girl named Maggie this weekend. It already feels like she's been part of the family forever. Chris, Brian & Bella are part of the wedding party and we are so honored. The wedding & whole weekend should be a blast!
Reflections on the past week: Doing well this week. It's hard for me to say that because at the beginning of all of this, I didn't think I could make it all the way through this pregnancy (and especially joyfully!) I think going on 10+ weeks of knowing our news, and letting it sink in (as much as it can), I am getting to a place of being ok. I know I can't change anything. Like any big trial in life, this makes me appreciate the blessings I do have in life. My goodness, I have a great little family. I don't go without. I have more than I deserve. And I know, as hard as this IS and WILL be, that Hallie is a blessing, too. She's taught us more, stretched us more, and made us rely on God more than ever. And I have a feeling that we're not the only ones that will learn from her.
I'm not 100% doing awesome, I don't mean to act like nothing is the matter. I have my times. I still kinda want to go unnoticed and not as a pregnant girl that strangers want to rub her belly & ask "when are you due?" And I really hurt for people going through this same thing, too. I am still scared of the future. I am scared to meet her and fall in love, but I'm also scared not to meet her. But I keep reminding myself that God has carried us this far, and He'll be there during even worse times.
Thank you for praying for us. It's kinda overwhelming, really. I am just blown away by the people that are praying for us & for Hallie. It's so cool to see, you have no idea.